Discovery: we learn a lot from each other. I particularly learn a lot from her worldview, taste, sense of humour, decision making and knowledge. We have good time together and feel safe.
Dream: I want to really grow as a couple in the sense that I can fully share my vulnerability and also take responsibility and change. I want to support and be supported in life with her.
Design: I need to open up and listen more attentively. I can use time in my own to picture our relationship, sharing my findings with her later. This can be a daily practice. Need to be more specific
Destiny: love what I choose.
4Ds
Discovery: We’re kind to each other, we have similar interests, we’re good friends, we’re openly emotional with each other, we get on with each other’s families, we balance each other out
Dream: I just want a relationship full of love and intimacy, I want passion, I want a bit of craziness and excitement, but also to have stability and calmness when necessary
Design: I think maybe being a bit more flirty and fun myself might help, a bit more of myself at the core, but understanding that she loves that version of me too
Destiny: I need to understand that being myself is fine, and no one is perfect, but when I’m in a bad place this version of me shrivels. But that confident version of me is the best version!
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Discover: We support each other to grow and discover new interests, we are good parents together, we help each other relax
Dream: we each have richer more independent lives but lots of quality time together too
Design: keep on investing time on hobbies and other friends, but carve out quality time for each other (with and without Juno)
Destiny: plan a good date tomorrow, then maybe some separate time, make good follow-up plans incl big new year dates
I don’t like frameworks, stating this as a former management consultant
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Discover: we help each other and generally operate as a unit, supportive of the other.
Dream: build a relationship where we constantly grow. We strive for connection and want I build a healthy sex life. It means growing without becoming stagnant and communicating to each other our desires without prejudice.
Design: we need to be more open and less shy about sex. What works, what’s turns us in, what doesn’t turn us own. We both feel a bit vulnerable in this regard, but there have been small steps in the right direction lately. That is a good sign that we each are becoming more comfortable talking about sec and confident with each other to express what we like.
Destiny: commit to having regular conversations even when things are good. Continue to strive to always improve and always support each other and make sure the other feels heard.
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Discover: the best parts of my relationship are: the shared experiences, positive and negative (mutually elevating and enhancing the highs, providing/receiving deep emotional support in the lows); discovering new things (whether we like them or not); making each other laugh; the times when we are able to allow ourselves to be emotionally open and vulnerable with each other; the ways in which our different personalities complement each other; our ability to resolve the rare disputes we do have without having aggressive arguments; the fact that we recognise, respect, and accommodate each other’s need for time to themselves and a life outside the relationship
Dream: the best future I can hope for is one in which I (and we) have worked sufficiently on my psychosexual challenges to have a mutually fulfilling sexual dimension to our relationship, laying a foundation for the confidence to try to start a family together. On a day-to-day basis we are supportive and collaborative, we continue to understand each other better and better, and we keep discovering new things, holding on to established interests and activities but never becoming too bogged-down or stagnant.
Design: to enable us to get to that point, I have to continue to work on my emotional openness and be comfortable being more immediately proactive about sharing thoughts, feelings, and concerns. I need to be braver and more disciplined about following through on intentions and desires that could make life better for me individually and for us as a couple, even when taking action is scary or intimidating (whether rationally or irrationally so). Regarding sex and intimacy specifically, I need to continue to work to understand my own sexuality better (my turn-ons, my hang-ups, etc), to develop techniques to enable me to remain “in the moment” during sex rather than being caught up in my own head, and to solidify the idea of sex as being about emotional connection and intimacy however it comes rather than getting stuck on having to achieve certain things physically.
Destiny: I can commit to that by continuing the work I am already doing (eg by committing to Mojo) and not allowing myself to find excuses to take time off or give up, and by sharing the insights I’m getting from the process more regularly and proactively rather than waiting for her to ask or for me to feel like a particular issue is “solved” before I talk about it. In terms of support, I need patience: patience in terms of recognition of the fact that psychosexual issues are not going to be solved overnight; patience when we do have sex, with the fact that I might need longer to feel ready for penetration, or with the fact that certain techniques or strategies might will require practice to make them more effective; patience with the fact that when I speak up about issues or concerns, or about the progress I’m making or the questions the process is raising, I will not always be able to speak fluently or articulately. And I need to be met somewhere approaching halfway, with the recognition from her that while my psychosexual issues are mine, some of the negative thought patterns start as responses to ideas that she has about sex that it might benefit us both for her to reflect on herself.
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Discovery: Best parts of the relationship is the laughs we share, the memories we’ve made and want to make, the conversations we have, the feelings we both share for each other.
Dream: I honestly want to end up with my girlfriend and the issues I’m facing right now just make me question that future. But I know that I can get there and that hope makes me excited for that future.
Design: Definitely need to change my mindset to start off with. Not overthink so much and be more in the moment with her, not just in the bedroom but day to day. Still fairly new relationship, less than a year and so I’m trying not to overthink things so much.
Destiny: I’ll be honest I’m still unsure about certain ways to get to that dream future but the love I have for this girl is proof enough I can and will get there.
Discovery - us always being there for each other and supporting each other without thinking twice
Dream - us being totally vulnerable and open with each other about our internal struggles and insecurities
Design - practice communicating emotions daily
Destiny - setting aside time each night to just talk to each other with no distractions
A strong bong, the caring and cuddles, and communication.
The best parts of my relationship are the jokes and the laughter and the support for one another. I envision our relationship growing to be stronger with sexual intimacy. That begins by opening open and talking about our current sexual relationship more and working on it together. I will commit to it by continuing to do mojo daily and including my wife in the conversation more often as well
Discovery: be together doing simple things. Walking, watching something…
Dream: have some good sex, be in less mental stress, both of us, be able to accept the issues and so on.
Design: we need to get back to more intomacy. And work in each others favor for better mental health with less stress.
Destiny: I need to do my part, and open my communication with her. If I don’t, she does not know of the struggles and I also get stressed and frustrated when she does not do what I expect
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Discovery: working on the house together, cooking a meal together, sitting on the couch together enjoying a show while holding hands or massaging one another.
Dream: more meaningful and deeper connection with less daily stress
Design: reckonize more bids for connection. Appreciate moments together and just be present. Be more emotionally supportive for my wife
Destiny: learn to reckonize and correct behavior issues that lead to emotional distress. Turn towards bids for connection.
Discovery: doing new things together, seeing what we can achieve together and how much we can grow. The days when our guard is low and we play, be spontaneous and silly
Dream: we’re always open and honest about how we feel, where we’re ant a where we’re going. We achiev things we didn’t thank were possible
Design: more conversations and curiosity. Less guarding, clearer on our need and not holding grudges. Being kind and not reactionary
Discovery: New experiences and adventures together
Dream: A wholesome, happy home with a good family values. Time spent as a couple too with shared vision and sexual flirting
Design: Need to make more time for each other and keep things interesting in the bedroom
This is hypothetical but with the person I want to be with right now. We’ve met a handful of times but every single signal points to this working long term.
Communicating deep emotional thoughts over superficial statements I think has been key.