Hi guys Iāve noticed that I seem to have more difficulty when I date someone I like and then there is the expectation that sex might happen. I also find it hard when they sext you messages about what they want you to do as I feel the inner critic then makes me worry I will disappoint them.
However I have found that if I meet a guy for just sex itās easier and wondered if anyone else has this. I think this is because i care less about what he may think because im not emotionally invested and unlikely to see them again as itās just physical, therefore im less in my head and put less pressure on myself. I want to feel like this when I date someone and I really do want to have sex with them but there are times when I end it before it gets to that just because the shame of disappointing them feels too unbearable 
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Dudeeeee exact same thing but with girls. Iām fine on hook ups but long term relationships are a different thing. If I canāt perform once with them Iām so nervous if I wonāt be able to the next time as well. Continuous cycle and I eventually end things
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I couldnāt relate to this more. In fact, I had to experience that disappointment once again yesterday when things heated up for the first time with the new person Iāve been dating and hence why I researched and found mojo. Really nice to know Iām not the only one and Iām sure itās way more common than we think. Best of luck to you, Iām confident that thereās a solution.
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Iām having the same issue man. Iāve been with my guy for a year or so now and Iāve been finding it harder to get up the more and more I love him. Like in terrified to disappoint.
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Thank you guys itās really reassuring to hear you know what itās like and Iām not alone. Itās not something I feel comfortable to talk about with friends due to feelings of shame so I do appreciate you all sharing your stories. I guess the reassuring thing for us is that it doesnāt sound like a mechanical issue if we can get it up when we have random hook ups. Itās related to our inner critics kicking in and the fear of disappointing our partners so weāre too in ours heads and not in the moment. I hope we can all find a way to overcome it because I feel so lucky in other ways. I date guys and I donāt seem to have a problem connecting with people and I find guys are attracted to me but its almost like that adds more pressure because when they want me more and vocalise this I feel the expectation is even higher to not disappoint. I also think being a top increases the pressure because you obviously need to be hard to perform which I guess is the same for straight men too.
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Yup exactly all the pressure is on us to stay hard and carry the show. If thereās no hard dick, thereās no show.