My AI coach says the main things I need to work on are resensitising to touch, dealing with the inner critic, and mindful masturbation. I’m making progress with the first two, but I’m still a bit lost on the mindful masturbation part.
I’ve just been given the Directed Masturbation exercise. It says to ditch autopilot and avoid death grip. Honestly it feels like a warm-up. I can’t finish from that alone.
What did you guys actually change that made the biggest difference? I’ve seen a few older posts on here about it, but I’m not sure what to tweak first. Speed, pressure, new strokes, lubrication, switching hands, that sort of thing. I’m mostly off porn but I still slip up now and then, and I’m trying to keep it out of the picture because it pulls my focus.
What do you focus on mentally so it doesn’t turn into a rush to climax? Do you ever stop on purpose without finishing? I’m a bit worried I’ll struggle without my usual habits. Did it get easier over time, and roughly how long did that take?
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I focused on relaxing my grip, and not trying to cum. Just nothing in my mind but how it felt. If I went soft that was fine, I’d keep touching it in ways that feel good, if it stopped feeling good I’d move to my balls or just stop and do something else. The urge to perfect jerking off and intensify the touch constantly are against what can help.
Over time the lower amounts of input lead to the same outcomes as death gripping my dick so it helped, but it takes time and at first isn’t super satisfying, just remember that pleasure is the goal, and jerking off feels good long before you cum, so focus on the beginning not the end
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Cheers, this is really helpful. The don’t-try-to-cum bit is the hardest part for me, I automatically start speeding up when I feel it building.
When you were retraining it, did you set a time limit for a session, like 10–15 mins, then stop even if you didn’t finish? And how long did it take before it started feeling actually satisfying again, weeks, months?
Also, did you change just grip/pressure, or did you change other stuff too, like lube, switching hands, that kind of thing?
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Time limit
How long
Change grip
I’d set a time limit if I had loads of free time, usually twice what I’d usually jerk off for in the situation. So like, if I had 2h till I had to go do something and I thought okay if I jerk off now I would probably try and finish in 5-6 minutes, I’d set a 12 minute timer. When it went off I’d keep stroking till I had a reason to stop, without cumming. That could be that I had to do something, or I got bored and wasn’t feeling it, or that I got rock hard and wanted to cum. I’d stop then. The whole goal I had was to make sure that I didn’t see, and importantly my body could be untrained about, cumming as the final goal of everything that I had to like hyper-optimise myself around.
This also includes that yeah I did change my grip. I set myself a new rule that I’d only stroke once rock hard. Like, if it wasn’t stood straight upright I wouldn’t grip it. I’d play with my balls at first, and nipples, touch my thighs and my gut. It felt so fucking boringggggg at first, genuinely. Took me like 3-4 days of doing it once a day before I got rock hard. I fucked up a lot too, giving in and stroking or even cumming when still kinda soft. Only when I managed to keep it going for a few days did I get rock hard like fucking steel and started slowly stroking and trust me bro it felt so fucking good.
Don’t use lube really but I discovered something so fucking brilliant. Coconut oil. I use it to massage my skin cus of a few issues I have, but I found that putting on something on my computer or TV, a game show with some hot people in it for example, something kinda arousing but not porn, and taking some coconut oil and rubbing it into my cock and balls, not stroking, until I was hard, and then still not stroking, was fantastic at getting my cock out of this soft->hard->cum efficiency cycle. Just massaging, getting hard, putting it away.
Any other questions please ask 
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(oops left my to-answer list at the top so I didn’t forget to reply to stuff!)
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Appreciate this, it’s really practical. The “timer then stop, no finishing” idea makes a lot of sense for breaking the autopilot!
The “no grip until fully hard” rule and starting with massage, balls, thighs, etc, also sounds like exactly what I need to retrain!
I’ve started this week. Do you think once a week is enough to see progress, or did you find it needed to be more frequent at the beginning? I’m having fairly regular sex with my wife. I need to safe some energy for her.
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I’d do it whenever you were going to jerk off, that way as well, if done regularly, you’ll have more built up energy for your wife!
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