I think especially for this forum I’m a little different. Im young at 18 and haven’t yet lost my virginity. I have masturbated I think a normal amount through my teen years but I have now got a girlfriend and things are going great. We do all the steps before sex, the foreplay and the rest of it but when it has comes down to it, I have wasn’t hard enough the first attempt and the 2nd time I turned almost soft. I stupidly had masturbated both instances the night before but I’m still really in my head about it. I really don’t want to disappoint her but also this is the first time in my life that I have felt inadequate and not a real man.
A long read I’m sorry. Any tips??
Do you get hard when you masturbate? Do you get hard other times? Do you watch a lot of porn? If the answers are yes, yes, and no then the problem is probably something to do with how much pressure you feel.
Losing your virginity is stressful. Being intimate with someone the first few times is stressful too. There’s such a high expectation that young men especially teenagers should always be rock hard the minute things get hot. It’s just not a realistic expectation. It can easily result in feeling pressured to have an erection and you can enter a downward spiral where you just won’t be able to get it up.
How did the foreplay go? Did you get hard then?
Something I find works for me is to sleep with your partner but with the expectation there won’t be penetration. You can fool around as much or as little as you want. But just cuddle and feel comfortable. By the time morning comes and you’ve had a good night’s rest and it feels more natural to be naked together it’s a lot easier to get it up.
I know this situation sucks. I was there at your age too. And not every girl is very supportive. I hope you can work it out with her and take your time.
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This sounds very normal, the above post is correct - having sex for the first time can be stressful. It sounds helpful that you have a girlfriend and things are going great. Hopefully you can talk to her about this. Mojo will really help you understand what can go on in your head and how anxiety can make things tricky. Well done you finding Mojo at this age and stage. Hopefully if you work through things you will be able to future proof your sex life! Enjoy! : )