# Looking for advice/help **URL:** \ **Category:** 🍆 Erection issues\ **Created:** [April 14, 2025, 4:14pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053 "2025-04-14T16:14:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![parental-fuchsia-orangutan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@parental-fuchsia-orangutan](https://community.mymojo.com/u/parental-fuchsia-orangutan)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2025, 4:14pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/1 "2025-04-14T16:14:15Z")
Hoping someone can give me advice on my situation, I will try to include all relevant info as my sex therapist told me to try and reach out to others. I am a man 20 years old who is in a healthy relationship with my girlfriend, also 20. I have noticed I cannot get/maintain erections when we have sex. I have been to a urologist and my primary doctor who have examined me and said everything looked normal. I have gotten blood work done and I have normal testosterone levels. I am very much attracted to my girlfriend and she has been supporting me throughout this whole ordeal. It’s almost as though I can barely get turned on anymore. I notice that when she sends me explicit pics I don’t get very hard and during sex it’s hard to actually get an erection. We have never had a bad sexual experience so I’m concerned as to why I’m having this issue. I have been taking a viagra pill I’ve gotten online to have sex almost every time but I don’t want to rely on that considering I’m very young and don’t seem to have anything physically wrong with me. I’m hoping someone else has had a similar experience and can maybe share some insight on what helped them? I’m willing to try just about anything to solve this. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![concrete-magenta-owl](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/concrete-magenta-owl/32/460365_2.png) [@concrete-magenta-owl](https://community.mymojo.com/u/concrete-magenta-owl)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2025, 4:45pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/2 "2025-04-14T16:45:37Z")
Keep me updated on your situation bro, my story is almost very similar, been with my gf for 3 years never ever had trouble with erections or anything of that such, a week or so ago I had engaged in sex for the first time in about 2 weeks so I ejaculated earlier then usual and to be honest that had me feeling shitty about myself so I spent the next day doing research on PE, well the morning after that I woke up and realized that I didn’t have a morning erection which sent me into somehwhat of panic mode, later in the day looked at explicit photos of my gf and realized I was struggling to get hard/turned on by them when before it would go up like nothing. It’s now been 6 days I’ve went to the doctors and hospital I’ve been basically cleared on any physical symptoms through ultrasound and physical examination. I believe it’s now extremely physiological for me but I’m having a hard time trying to figure out why/how as I’ve never had this issue in our 3 years together ---
**Author:** ![superb-fuchsia-asp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@superb-fuchsia-asp](https://community.mymojo.com/u/superb-fuchsia-asp)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2025, 8:20pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/3 "2025-04-14T20:20:38Z")
Big picture: you’re putting too much pressure on yourself and engaging your fight or flight reflex and that is keeping you from getting hard. Sex is supposed to be fun. With all the pressure you are dealing with, it likely is a big source of anxiety. ---
**Author:** ![healthy-peach-boar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@healthy-peach-boar](https://community.mymojo.com/u/healthy-peach-boar)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 10:13pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/4 "2025-04-17T22:13:14Z")
I joined this app because my situation is almost the exact same as yours, please keep me updated mate. I think we will both come out the other side of this and it will be a funny story sooner rather than later, would you recommend going to the doctors as it has been a few weeks on and off for me? ---
**Author:** ![parental-fuchsia-orangutan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@parental-fuchsia-orangutan](https://community.mymojo.com/u/parental-fuchsia-orangutan)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 10:26pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/5 "2025-04-17T22:26:20Z")
Yeah that’s kinda what I figured too. Only problem is it feels almost subconscious at this point to where even if I try telling myself it’s supposed to be fun it’s still just a point of stress if that makes any sense. Super confusing unfortunately ---
**Author:** ![parental-fuchsia-orangutan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@parental-fuchsia-orangutan](https://community.mymojo.com/u/parental-fuchsia-orangutan)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2025, 10:27pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/6 "2025-04-17T22:27:36Z")
I would definitely talk to a doctor and see if test levels are normal or even a urologist to see if there’s anything physically wrong but that turned out to be a dead end for me but definitely worth looking into if you haven’t already ---
**Author:** ![quickest-brown-gerbil](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/quickest-brown-gerbil/32/461773_2.png) [@quickest-brown-gerbil](https://community.mymojo.com/u/quickest-brown-gerbil)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2025, 5:39pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/7 "2025-04-18T17:39:36Z")
Guess it’s that the self critic in you lad, try not to worry/overthink it, easier said that done I know but give this app a go, hopefully it’ll help, maybe it won’t, I don’t know but worth a try, right!? Speak to a therapist maybe? Don’t rely on them pills though man! ---
**Author:** ![exciting-coral-pigeon](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/exciting-coral-pigeon/32/365268_2.png) [@exciting-coral-pigeon](https://community.mymojo.com/u/exciting-coral-pigeon)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2025, 9:15pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/8 "2025-04-30T21:15:05Z")
Thanks for your input ont his topic. It helps everyone. I had a question about the ultrasound. Did you bring this up or did your primary doc? I ask cause I feel like it is very seldom something docs want to order. I even tried going non-doc route and just private vendor, but no one around my area (Eastern US, PA) seems to do it. I am diabetic, so blood flow, or lackthereof, was a concern for me. I can still get somewhat hard, but have not had sex in about years and I have definitely had psych and D&A issues as I’ve gone through multiple deaths and substance abuse to forget about them. Maybe perfect storm for libido and erections to be low, but I can still masturbate and finish normally. I am 47, so not young, but not pop pop. Thanks all. You guys make opening up a lot easier. ---
**Author:** ![parental-fuchsia-orangutan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@parental-fuchsia-orangutan](https://community.mymojo.com/u/parental-fuchsia-orangutan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2025, 9:34pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/9 "2025-04-30T21:34:49Z")
Yeah I realize that it almost feels like I’m dependent on them now. Any thoughts on how to quit? ---
**Author:** ![excellent-indigo-eagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@excellent-indigo-eagle](https://community.mymojo.com/u/excellent-indigo-eagle)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2025, 2:01am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/10 "2025-05-01T02:01:17Z")
I’m so self-critical, I can’t do anything romantic or sexual. I don’t know how to get out of my own head and I’m not receiving any encouragement from my partner. All of this increases my anxiety and deepens my depression. ---
**Author:** ![exciting-coral-pigeon](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/exciting-coral-pigeon/32/365268_2.png) [@exciting-coral-pigeon](https://community.mymojo.com/u/exciting-coral-pigeon)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2025, 2:02am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/11 "2025-08-19T02:02:29Z")
any update? ---
**Author:** ![profound-turquoise-jackal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/49beb7/32.png) [@profound-turquoise-jackal](https://community.mymojo.com/u/profound-turquoise-jackal)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2025, 5:33am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/12 "2025-08-19T05:33:08Z")
Same boat here man. Supportive partner and all. Seems like all provocative thoughts/images don’t have any effect anymore. I used to see attractive women out and fantasize involuntarily, but now even when I try to focus on things, it escapes me. Idk about you, but I had been in a 2 year dry spell after a terrible ending to a 2 year relationship. I’ve been through some trauma stuff at work and home. I think most of the issue is psychological. Men everywhere are under enormous pressures on how to act, how to love, how to lead, how to cope, how to be healthy, etc. I think we need to give ourselves some grace and kindness and in doing that can maybe shut some of the negative out. ---
**Author:** ![itchy-peach-lemming](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@itchy-peach-lemming](https://community.mymojo.com/u/itchy-peach-lemming)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2025, 8:05am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/13 "2025-08-19T08:05:22Z")
Sounds psychological. Maybe a pressure to perform dilemma, or something about the girl ur with, hasn’t earned ur “soul” ---
**Author:** ![semantic-aquamarine-walrus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85f322/32.png) [@semantic-aquamarine-walrus](https://community.mymojo.com/u/semantic-aquamarine-walrus)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2025, 8:37am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/14 "2025-08-23T08:37:45Z")
I’ve been married 24 years and am 49. My ED started about 2 years ago. If my D was anywhere near her V I’d be rock hard. Now, nothing, not even a twitch. I’ll see her naked in the tub. Nothing. I’ve not woken up with an erection in years. Very frustrating. My Testosterone is in the low 100s, but don’t want to do the shot. I also have Diabetes, which doesn’t help. I can get super hard if watching Porn, which is only one in a while, but the wife would kill me if she knew and clearly won’t let me watch it when we’re together. No idea what the solution is, and none of these activities seem to be helping either. ---
**Author:** ![exciting-coral-pigeon](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/exciting-coral-pigeon/32/365268_2.png) [@exciting-coral-pigeon](https://community.mymojo.com/u/exciting-coral-pigeon)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2025, 7:27pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/15 "2025-10-06T19:27:48Z")
This is so on point. I said I am worrying about my physical image, my mental state, hating my job, quitting my job, applying to 1000 jobs and then being an imposter at my new one. All this, along with what you also went through, a terrible ex. I am almost at more peace not worrying about sex and women, but I know that’s just not gonna suffice long term. I haven’t done any exercises on here cause I really haven’t dated at all last 4-5 years. I am diabetic, gained some weight, had some D&A issues to just numb myself…and poof! 3.5 years went by. I mean. I do have tons of hobbies and friends and family. I just wasnt like out there searching for love. I have cut some people off to reduce the stress load on myself. I have gotten back in the gym every day and walk as well. Like someone said, I used to see a hot chic and just be like ooooohhhhhhh yeaaaahhhhhh…she’s so hot…blah blah blah. Old me would talk to her. New me is just like. I wonder if she sells feet pics to strangers cause I dont need that smoke…haha ---
**Author:** ![exciting-coral-pigeon](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/exciting-coral-pigeon/32/365268_2.png) [@exciting-coral-pigeon](https://community.mymojo.com/u/exciting-coral-pigeon)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2025, 7:29pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/looking-for-advice-help/9053/16 "2025-10-06T19:29:58Z")
Type one diabetic here. My best sexual years was when my a1c was really bad cause I was still getting used to injections. So now my a1c is great, but no libido and/or desire. I am sorry you are going through that. I sometimes just think it’s related to diabetes, but then feel like copping out. I believe so much of it is psych. Like you, porn and I can get hard quick and finish. Just haven’t had a desire to do the same around a woman and I was def a healthy, sexual individual. 🤔