I had a great sexual moment with my girlfriend in the morning, and later in the day I tried to recreate that connection but completely crashed. I could not get an erection, and sitting in that silence afterward triggered a wave of shame and self-doubt.
It was not about her — she was kind — but my inner critic spiraled. I felt like I had failed, like I needed to prove I could perform again. Looking back, I realize I needed emotional connection more than physical, but I rushed into sex instead of checking in with myself.
This experience brought up old insecurities tied to my self-worth, like being the “nice guy” who felt he had to overcompensate to be chosen. I am working on separating my value from performance and learning how to show up more honestly in moments like this.