# The chance to have sex with a new partner **URL:** \ **Category:** 🍆 Erection issues\ **Created:** [June 3, 2025, 3:21pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/the-chance-to-have-sex-with-a-new-partner/9284 "2025-06-03T15:21:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![anon32631284](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@anon32631284](https://community.mymojo.com/u/anon32631284)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 3:21pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/the-chance-to-have-sex-with-a-new-partner/9284/1 "2025-06-03T15:21:15Z")
I have recently met a woman and we get on really well. It’s leading towards the first time we are going to be sexual with one another. I have suffered with Performance Anxiety ED on and off all my life. I’m 39 Male and divorced last year. I’m torn whether to say anything about it, as this might be a mood killer or to just practise all the techniques I’ve learnt here and see what happens with a what will be, will be kinda approach. I really like this girl and I am anxious that I could f this up. Any thoughts or tips welcomed ---
**Author:** ![balanced-lavender-antelope](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/balanced-lavender-antelope/32/380578_2.png) [@balanced-lavender-antelope](https://community.mymojo.com/u/balanced-lavender-antelope)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2025, 4:14pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/the-chance-to-have-sex-with-a-new-partner/9284/2 "2025-06-03T16:14:58Z")
My advice is to be honest but relaxed about it so they don’t stress and feel like they’ve done something wrong and even more importantly they don’t stress because you’re stressed (easier said than done I know) Usually if things aren’t working the first time (which for me is more likely since the first time usually after a few drinks - which doesn’t help) I just say something like “sometimes I struggle after a few, but don’t worry I’ll take care of you” and then smirk and carry on making out and doing oral or whatever the makes sense given the mood - I’ve never had a negative reaction to this and since the pressure is taken off this helps me relax and get going again sooner rather than later Just try to stay positive and in the moment even if things take a turn… Hope this helps ---
**Author:** ![mathematical-chocolate-cow](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/mathematical-chocolate-cow/32/369275_2.png) [@mathematical-chocolate-cow](https://community.mymojo.com/u/mathematical-chocolate-cow)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2025, 9:20pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/the-chance-to-have-sex-with-a-new-partner/9284/3 "2025-06-14T21:20:26Z")
It’s scary but I’d get ahead of it and say “sometimes I struggle to x and y” and I guarantee they’ll be ok with it and respect your honesty and courage to be vulnerable. You can then focus on building a sexual relationship that doesn’t have the stress but is focussed on what is pleasurable and works best for you both. Probably not the right phrase for an ED forum but when got start with vulnerability and acknowledgement, the only way is up. ---
**Author:** ![mathematical-chocolate-cow](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/mathematical-chocolate-cow/32/369275_2.png) [@mathematical-chocolate-cow](https://community.mymojo.com/u/mathematical-chocolate-cow)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2025, 9:21pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/the-chance-to-have-sex-with-a-new-partner/9284/4 "2025-06-14T21:21:57Z")
\*when you start with ---
**Author:** ![respective-yellow-crow](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/respective-yellow-crow/32/413238_2.png) [@respective-yellow-crow](https://community.mymojo.com/u/respective-yellow-crow)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2025, 4:17am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/the-chance-to-have-sex-with-a-new-partner/9284/5 "2025-06-16T04:17:07Z")
Tbh, I’d take 1/4 of a cialas…just to calm the nerves a bit. Get the first one “out of the way” so to speak. I know it sucks, but may be worth it. ---
**Author:** ![probable-indigo-fox](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/probable-indigo-fox/32/384246_2.png) [@probable-indigo-fox](https://community.mymojo.com/u/probable-indigo-fox)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2025, 10:24am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/the-chance-to-have-sex-with-a-new-partner/9284/6 "2025-06-16T10:24:48Z")
I would shift the focus away from the ‘concerns about ED’ and just focus on enjoying your time with her. If you want her badly enough then that will be all you can think about and lust will take over. Focus on being present and ‘enjoying’ her. I’ve found this with girls I’ve been seeing that if you obsess over ‘getting it up’ or ‘doing things right’ then you take yourself completely out of the moment. All the overthinking about performance just makes it impossible to enjoy it. Balanced-lavender has given some solid advice here too!