I feel ashamed about watching porn and often feel guilty about it like its a secret thing that I shouldnt do or talk about. Im not sure where the idea comes from but its always been with me and its very difficult for me to admit to my partner
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I used to think porn was an addiction, and while I still believe it’s highly addictive, I know for sure that it’s not an addiction I suffer from. I definitely use it for self soothing, and it contributes to my inner critic thinking I’m not hard enough, or not having sex for long enough. The fact that sex usually lasts for 2-8 minutes is a huge thing to remember.
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This framing around porn is super helpful. I think I already knew most of this but never had it all laid out in front of me like this.
I’d like to be more mindful about my relationship with porn, how I think about it and why I use it, and look into more ethical forms of pornography.
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Although I have some moral issues with porn, they don’t stop me from watching it. In fact, I like it and use it to relieve sexual tension. Even so, I do realize that I’m substituting it for taking risks with being with a woman.
The topic around situational erection problems was very interesting
I do use it as a band aid fix to many of my stressors. I need to be more aware on how I use it
I use it to soothe uncomfortable feelings and to avoid taking risks with sexual partners and express what I need.
i use it to substitute pushing myself out and getting real life sexual partners
The situational aspect is something I’d like more interpretation and focus on
I watch porn to ease sexual tension and avoid having a relationship due to sexual anxieties.
Porn has built up a feeling for me around just getting the job done, rather than being in the moment and enjoying myself. It’s made orgasming very functional rather than pleasurable
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My porn use goes back to my teenage years when I was very addicted to masturbating. This has continued into my adult life. I use it as a form of self-soothing, and a reliance on this is common for people with ADHD/Autism like myself
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Situational anxiety is bang on. When alone with porn, erections are easy. Having said that, erections are easy when sat or laying down. If I stand or kneel it’s not guaranteed. Is a positional pattern influencing when I become hard?
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I learned the pork isn’t as realistic as real sex and it’s okay to have problems or things you’re not comfortable with with a sexual partner or trying to have sex with another person. I understand the overall message of it and how it was coming across for me before I went through this lecture.
I’ve watched enough porn in my lifetime and happy to not to watch anymore. I’d rather just have sex. Plain and simple.
Porn is a place of solace. It feels good and takes me away from the troubles of life. It’s scary to think of a life without that, but I think overall it would be better for me to avoid it totally. At least in the short term. I am trying meditating to fill the void.
I appreciate the wisdom and definitely feel that porn watching is related to my erectile dysfunction. For me, its that when im porn, even when I’ve already selected one, I’ll still be checking out all the other thumbnails. Real sex isnt like that, there is just one person in front of you and that’s a good thing. Personally, I’ve decided to abstain entirely from porn. I’ve also decided to abstain from masturbation for a while because of some advice I found online about “resetting”. Im im 4 and a half weeks in, its CHALLENGING, but im already noticing im getting turned out by way less than I used to. Im going to keep trying
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I think I watch porn becuase I’ve let it be my outlet for stress most of my post puberty life. I shouldn’t be ashamed of what kind of porn I like or watch but I must keep myself from thinking that porn is what sex has to porn.
It’s important to realize that porn is a fantasy, like any big budget Hollywood movie. It’s fun but not reflective of real life. Don’t let things you see in porn give you a false sense of what real sex between loving partners has to look like.
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