# What kind of conflict or arguments do you need to work on? **URL:** \ **Category:** ❓ Course questions\ **Tags:** couples\ **Created:** [September 8, 2022, 7:48pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333 "2022-09-08T19:48:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![profound-maroon-perch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/977dab/32.png) [@profound-maroon-perch](https://community.mymojo.com/u/profound-maroon-perch)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2024, 10:03pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/322 "2024-10-01T22:03:45Z")
I have to improve in understanding how they feel and how sometimes they exaggerate their feelings because they want to make sure they are heard ---
**Author:** ![abundant-violet-jay](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/abundant-violet-jay/32/449190_2.png) [@abundant-violet-jay](https://community.mymojo.com/u/abundant-violet-jay)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2024, 8:41pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/323 "2024-10-02T20:41:20Z")
Im terrified of sharing certain emotions, because im afraid my partner sees me as weak or fragile, instead of my emotion is big and important. Im sure she will be accepting, but my ex would ridicule me for being weak when i was sad, and that feeling is stuck in me ---
**Author:** ![medical-coral-anglerfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@medical-coral-anglerfish](https://community.mymojo.com/u/medical-coral-anglerfish)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2024, 1:47pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/324 "2024-10-04T13:47:28Z")
My wife and I have not developed the skills to have healthy conflict, and it is usually evident in the bedroom. I’d like to figure out how to have healthy, smaller conflict instead of being on a roller coaster. ---
**Author:** ![smooth-purple-flamingo](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/smooth-purple-flamingo/32/431717_2.png) [@smooth-purple-flamingo](https://community.mymojo.com/u/smooth-purple-flamingo)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2024, 9:54pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/325 "2024-10-06T21:54:48Z")
I think I mostly just need to work on not avoiding conflict. Things are always better when issues are confronted at the time rather than boxing them up for later. The conversations can be hard but it’s always far less stressful overall. ---
**Author:** ![steady-rose-cougar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@steady-rose-cougar](https://community.mymojo.com/u/steady-rose-cougar)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2024, 4:37pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/326 "2024-10-11T16:37:33Z")
To start I need to work on avoiding conflict and express my feelings when I have something. Then, when we’re already in the middle of conflict I need to work in multiple aspects such as not being so dramatic, stick to the facts, listen before getting all riled up, keep the calm. ---
**Author:** ![anon89792423](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@anon89792423](https://community.mymojo.com/u/anon89792423)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2024, 9:57pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/327 "2024-10-14T21:57:43Z")
We had a weekend of good sex - then two weeks later we tried again and I couldn’t perform. She was understanding but said it makes her feel like I’m not attracted to her and was quiet and sad for awhile. I’m back to being stressed and scared to initiating intimacy. ---
**Author:** ![evolutionary-aquamarine-chameleon](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/evolutionary-aquamarine-chameleon/32/432625_2.png) [@evolutionary-aquamarine-chameleon](https://community.mymojo.com/u/evolutionary-aquamarine-chameleon)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2024, 3:07pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/328 "2024-10-16T15:07:15Z")
Many times in conflicts I’ve tried to figure out a way to be right or to shut down / defend against what the other person is sharing, often I later realize because I received it as criticism - sometimes rightly, sometimes wrongly. These NVC tips are helpful reminders of how I could steer a conflict toward healthy resolution instead of toward disconnection and loss of emotional trust. ---
**Author:** ![endless-amethyst-coyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/82dd89/32.png) [@endless-amethyst-coyote](https://community.mymojo.com/u/endless-amethyst-coyote)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 12:49am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/329 "2024-10-17T00:49:54Z")
I need to work on trying to problem solve every interaction and just hear and support them. I feel I always need to be in the right or never wrong out of fear for how they will percieve me. ---
**Author:** ![annual-violet-halibut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@annual-violet-halibut](https://community.mymojo.com/u/annual-violet-halibut)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2024, 4:13am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/330 "2024-10-17T04:13:58Z")
I need to be able to paring up how I am feeling in any capacity, good or bad. I have issues with being direct and communicating any emotions ---
**Author:** ![shaky-lime-finch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@shaky-lime-finch](https://community.mymojo.com/u/shaky-lime-finch)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2024, 9:13pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/331 "2024-10-18T21:13:23Z")
Be more open about the need to be a partnership, also open up about sexual issues ---
**Author:** ![deep-apricot-junglefowl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@deep-apricot-junglefowl](https://community.mymojo.com/u/deep-apricot-junglefowl)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2024, 1:36am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/332 "2024-10-19T01:36:19Z")
Not bottling things up until I explode ---
**Author:** ![sure-olive-gayal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@sure-olive-gayal](https://community.mymojo.com/u/sure-olive-gayal)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2024, 5:32am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/333 "2024-10-19T05:32:54Z")
Taking more responsibility for day to day organisation instead of letting her make arrangements and then being frustrated and disapproving with what she has put in place . ---
**Author:** ![xenacious-white-bovid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/ac91a4/32.png) [@xenacious-white-bovid](https://community.mymojo.com/u/xenacious-white-bovid)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2024, 3:27pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/334 "2024-10-19T15:27:19Z")
Being anxious about her response and view of me ---
**Author:** ![civic-coral-dove](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/civic-coral-dove/32/482705_2.png) [@civic-coral-dove](https://community.mymojo.com/u/civic-coral-dove)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2024, 8:59pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/335 "2024-10-19T20:59:09Z")
I really need to work on taking criticisms. I feel attacked and then I get defensive and give excuses, which makes it so I don’t take in the lesson and they don’t feel heard and freed from it. ---
**Author:** ![ambitious-lime-opossum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f1d935/32.png) [@ambitious-lime-opossum](https://community.mymojo.com/u/ambitious-lime-opossum)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2024, 4:06am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/336 "2024-10-22T04:06:17Z")
luckily me and my wife are pretty equal, we both fight but we both give in and apologize and figure out a solution together. ---
**Author:** ![sticky-magenta-ox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@sticky-magenta-ox](https://community.mymojo.com/u/sticky-magenta-ox)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2024, 2:34am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/337 "2024-10-23T02:34:54Z")
I feel she isn’t putting in the effort I’ve told her I need. ---
**Author:** ![yearning-scarlet-raccoon](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/yearning-scarlet-raccoon/32/451966_2.png) [@yearning-scarlet-raccoon](https://community.mymojo.com/u/yearning-scarlet-raccoon)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2024, 12:06pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/338 "2024-10-25T12:06:56Z")
I’m in the same boat man. Keep working in this program and continue to show her you’re attracted to her in many different ways. Sex and intimacy is so much more than what we think it is. I have to make sure I do the same thing right now. ---
**Author:** ![jolly-yellow-amphibian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@jolly-yellow-amphibian](https://community.mymojo.com/u/jolly-yellow-amphibian)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2024, 5:19am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/339 "2024-10-26T05:19:47Z")
I need to better toe the line between caring and caretaking. ---
**Author:** ![olympic-emerald-skunk](https://dub1.discourse-cdn.com/flex005/user_avatar/community.mymojo.com/olympic-emerald-skunk/32/378337_2.png) [@olympic-emerald-skunk](https://community.mymojo.com/u/olympic-emerald-skunk)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2024, 7:04pm UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/340 "2024-11-02T19:04:25Z")
In fact, i need to work on my reluctancy to express my feelings and needs to avoid conflict ---
**Author:** ![obliged-cyan-trout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecccb3/32.png) [@obliged-cyan-trout](https://community.mymojo.com/u/obliged-cyan-trout)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2024, 12:37am UTC](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333/341 "2024-11-03T00:37:49Z")
I need to better toe the lie between caring and caretaking ad well as well as work on expressing my needs more openly. [Previous page](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333.md?page=16) [Next page](https://community.mymojo.com/t/what-kind-of-conflict-or-arguments-do-you-need-to-work-on/3333.md?page=18)