Doing a better job of listening to understand, not solve or fix
Solving problems, instead putting myself in a supportive role. In conflict, listen and acknowledge, and express my thoughts directly as well
Being open with my relationship insecurities, and not burying them in order to live up to my and her expectations.
Being open about my feelings, not being a people pleaser and ignoring my needs and hoping they will just know
Not being able to perform or live upto expectations
We have been having regular threesomes with another girl who is considerably younger than my girlfriend and all of a sudden she has jealousy issues, my girlfriend is bisexual and it was mainly her idea also i do not have sex with the other girl just foreplay really. I get accused of having feelings for the other girl ,i like her too much ,shes into me etc .I definitely find it hard to talk about it
I am a chronic people pleaser and helper. The moment I get accused (perceived or said directly) of not being helpful I absolutely freak out. Gonna have to unpack that one so that I don’t end up shouting down the phone at someone who is going through their own shit
1 Like
My partners anger
1 Like
I need to be more honest with my partner
Conflicts where I get triggered by something, maybe she knows what buttons to push, and she wants my attention, but I get triggered and my listening skills are diminished.
I need to work on letting things go. Not my own anger, I rarely get like that, but calling out people on things that are wrong or trying to correct behavior. Just let it go because it’s not worth the hurt on both sides
All conflicts with my partner. I protect her feelings at my own expense
I usually avoir conflict. To be honest not sure it had been good or bad in the end. But i know it had cause me stress and worries. So although this looks awfully complicated I will give it a try. So conflict type, I would just think of being honest with our feeling
I try to be 100% honest if something is on my mind I’m not sticking to the habit of just the silent treatment and just ignoring each other’s presents but to talk and communicate in a manner that is direct but won’t lead to conflict
We’re both very dominant people and neither of us give ground easily
We both avoid conflicts and need the work on communication as a whole
Not sure at this point, but I know it takes patients, listening, and reflecting.
I’m a people pleaser by nature, need to get better at standing up for myself, what I need, and that my feelings are valid and legitimate. I shouldn’t belittle them for the sake of trying to keep someone else happy.
1 Like
I do the avoiding conflict kind of caretaking and my wife does the emotional labour kind of caretaking. Our cycle is that I get annoyed about something but don’t address it. She tries to fix it because she can tell something is wrong and suddenly something small like I’m annoyed that you always listen to Taylor Swift yet I can never listen to weird experimental jazz or whatever becomes a giant issue. Would be better to have a slightly heated moment that for me to avoid it.
I’ve played a peacekeeper throughout conflicts in my life and honestly just need to assert what the other person needs. Being curious about their needs invites them to do the questioning, which prevents me taking ownership of their responsibility. It also lessens the potential for escalation/ arguments spiralling, or even myself being triggered by something they’ve said. Specificity is key, assertion is kindness to both of you.