What’s helped the conversation go better?
Definitely the embarrassment
Getting any words out because it’s become such a big problem
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Trying to reassure her of the feeling of rejection she feels when sex doesn’t go to plan. Trying to make her understand that it is not her and this this my issue that I would like her help to work through.
As my issue has gone on for a very long time, without me addressing it sooner, it is hard to bring up the topic and to reassure my wife that I still find her attractive and want to be intimate, without her feeling neglected and rejected, as she shuts it down with the argument that if I really felt that way, then I would have fixed this problem sooner.
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I think catastrophizing and just the overall feeling that as a male we need to be dominant and should be on form all the time and able to please women. It’s an unrealistic expectation that many of us grew up learning through media consumption etc. Partners can be understanding. Speaking about issues can help reduce negative outcomes as it can take the pressure off
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I can really relate to this. Trying to work on an issue that has been present for literally decades is hard when I have not been able to really solve it for long periods in the past. Good luck and hope the consistent work makes progress.