The best thing you can take from this lesson is a renewed curiosity. What dots have you joined so far, and what do you hope to understand more deeply about yourself?
I thought moral incongruence was about religion. So I was surprised to see it also happens when I feel that there is a societal expectation. This is part of my struggle for sure.
I definitely use porn as a self soothing thing. I hadn’t thought about it in these terms previously.
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I come from a religious upbringing, while I’m not very religious in the traditional sense it plays a factor in my morals about porn. While modern world/culture is pretty accepting of porn there’s always been a push/pull in my mind with these two differing viewpoints.
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Why do I read erotic stories rather than watch porn?
I’m unsure if I have a naturally high sex drive which turns me to watching porn or whether through regular porn viewing it’s something which has been built into my brain.
Why do I seek a fantasy of sex over real sex with my partner? Is it just coz I’m greedy for more sex with more different (imagined) people than it’s reasonable to have?
How do I discover my natural sexual self if I’ve only had porn for my whole life? I’ve never really been able to open up and express myself sexually to someone out of embarassment and shame.
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How do I de-sensitive myself to my sexual likes and kinks before watching loads of porn?
Very similar to other entries, I struggle to know whether my fantasies are just my personal sexual desires or entrenched because of heavy porn use. I worry my partner will think my fantasies mean I want to have sex with individuals other than them. Equally, does it matter what started the fantasy or desire? Thinking about whether porn is the reason is in built with the shame of watching porn
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what my fears sre
Never had sex before, but I’m fearful that it would not be as satisfying as pornography which I have watched with many different kinks / fetishes that is not normal to have in a relationship.
I’m curious about where this tension comes from
Are there any other coping mechanisms which will actually take the place of porn? It is hard to imagine a life where I can see a beautiful woman advertising her onlyfans, and to be able to comfortably not fulfill the desire to see her naked in that moment. To let that urge pass without investigating. To find satisfaction from the urge without going down the curiosity rabbit hole. It feels like an impossible version of the future, which I want, but can’t imagine how it could work.
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How self defeating the loop is once you realize
how to not to allow a shame spiral lead to heavy porn usage to cope
I am aware of the emotions and distress that lead to porn use, but I just don’t know how to sit with them. It’s like surfing the urge requires surfing the emotions more so than the urge itself.
i’m curious about why porn becomes an amazing thing to scratch the itch and why it feels like the only thing in that moment
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How the blocks I have attempted to put in place contribute to shame and increasing in my porn use
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I hope to understand more deeply the root cause of the shame I hold over the moral incongruence i sense and whether that is actually my morals