My first reaction is defense, because I feel triggered by being misunderstood or misrepresented. I feel like if the other person just understood me better, they wouldn’t be upset… but the truth is, it’s their feelings that matter, not my being understood perfectly
I feel overwhelmed and disrespected, like I’m being taken for granted. I need to feel heard and supported, like my needs matter too
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I feel detached and I am in need of intimacy and connection to rebuild the feeling of togetherness and love
My roommate and I had a rocky relationship. He would constantly belittle me. It seemed he was fragile and insecure with needs for acceptance and inclusion. I was frustrated, overwhelmed, and sensitive with a need of space.
My wife constantly talks over me, cutting me off mid sentence. I feel I’m belittled
I feel frustrated because my partner make assumptions about my intentions without fully understanding the reason why or my motivation. I need her trust and confidence in my ability to take care of business and love her.
Haven’t had any partners to conflicts with, but I do have them any my own personal needs.
I’m a very closed off, lonely and emotionally detached person and my partner needs me to be more emotionally available. She wants to feel loved and cherished and I struggle giving that to her which in turn makes me feel not good enough and broken
My wife and I have been talking about conflict previously. I tend to avoid it because anger is a trigger for me and she can get defensive. It has led to a conflict avoidance that has allowed resentment to build instead, but I develop an anxiety about bringing it up. We’ve been working on a technique where one of us will essentially interview the other, and keep the focus entirely on the perspective of the interviewee. If you can’t think of a question, repeat back what you think they were feeling or meant. Then switch places. It’s definitely been helpful in better understanding each other.
We don’t argue. Maybe that’s the problem. But also I know that most issues stem from me. Either not thinking being stupid or just not noticing things. So any situation we could argue I know there is no point as I’m usually at fault.
I never forget an intense argument I had with my one guy friend. I had clearly not been open about what bothered me when it first occured. But it all errupted one night on his last visit to me. Where we brushed over the subject and I could not seem to let it go. So much so, that eventhough he was calm and to him his response was 100% rational, I could not get my head around how he reacted towards someone I cared for at the time. And I just yelled. It wasnt until I was able to shower and cool off that I came back, and apologized and reached a point where I was able to relay what his point of view was before I applied where I differed so we could both feel understood.
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Their feeling was sadness and rejection of not being good enough. Their need was love, acceptance, clossness and reassurance
I’m thinking about my most explosive relationship. She was frustrated and often angry. But I feel this was more at herself and became directed at me. I feel like she might have needed love and acceptance, but I don’t think it would have resolved our issues. I think I effectively became the punching bag for her own frustrations, and sometimes it’s important to recognise that leaving a relationship is the right thing if the person is not willing or able to take on responsibility too.
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I just unappreciated and not respect it. She feels like I’m over talking her and Im loud I get defensive and she tell me quiet down always put us at odds.
One trigger is when my homegirl is on the game, feeling, ignored, unimportant at the moment. Need some time, FUCK that game 
She felt disconnected and betrayed. I felt terrible and should have never done it
She needed assurance and understanding. I needed a plan
I can tell she felt annoyed and frustrated I felt unheard and misunderstood.
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She felt disappointed and frustrated, she needed love and reassurance. I felt resentful and misunderstood, I needed space and closeness
Sue felt uncomfortable and upset and needed reassurance and understanding. I felt upset and surprised, and needed reassurance and understanding as well.