I never had a serious sexual relationship until my mid twenties. Porn was how I experienced sexual pleasure for a long time. Now that I am in a happy long term relationship, falling back into watching it makes me feel shame and that I am using it instead of experiencing sex with my girlfriend more. I have more opportunities to be sexual then I have ever before but my desire to do so with my partner seems to have faded a bit.
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My ex didn’t like me doing it on a rare occasion but these became more frequent and she didn’t know. I’d lie aware at night while she slept not aroused but feeling a pull to watch porn, help me sleep and go to the bathroom. It felt at times it might have made me more sexually active but the sex life definitely declined. I think I’m always looking for something new and this causes a lack of lusk for my partner. She was a lovely girl but this was something that led to the end of us.
I watched it because I don’t have a gf whom i can love and have sex.
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I started porn at the age of 13 and masturbated 5 times a day on an average in my teenage years. Im 31 now. I no longer feel as much guilty as i used to, now that its so normalized. I chase highs and watch passionate sex videos and have explored all sorts of fantasies. I had one gf over the years and that too for few days. I didn’t actually liked her because she was a low value women and a people pleaser and that made me realized what i have been as well. I feel it drained my life energy and now no women would look at me. I witnessed that i feel confident and women liked me when i didnt masturbated for 6 months but life struggles happens and i came back to watching porn and the fantasy world to release my stress. Its a bad choice of a coping mechanism but everything else is a difficult choice. Porn is the easiest pleasure amd it surely has affected my life.
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I have adopted an all or nothing approach in my mind that is self-limiting. I allow the guilt of watching porn to lower my self esteem which then encourages me to watch more porn in a self-destructive manner
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It’s a surrogate way to feel connected when you dont have a partner. Or maybe fill some kind of need that is unmet or you’re too fearful to share with a partner
no partner but also just chasing highs and excitement
Stress
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It’s never seemed to affect my real sex life, but I fear it has been a big factor in the emotional side of relationships. I have used porn as a sexual outlet where dealing with real relationships could have happened and I also find it a habit that I can’t control even if it only happens a couple of times a month.
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Using porn has significantly affected my willingness to do hard emotional work in my significant relationship with my wife - porn being so available and easy makes it a convenient fall-back when my marriage relationship is difficult
Affecting my sex life
Well, it’s just one release and one becomes many again.
Whenever I’m busy or doing things full of novelty everyday I forget about porn entirely, for example when I spent a month abroad while working. Then I returned home and continued using as soon as work got boring. Boredom seems to be my main trigger.
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I felt like I reached a plateau going cold turkey, and deluded myself that I’d “reset”. Then I relapsed and it felt like all that positive progressive had been for nothing. It felt Sisyphean.
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I started watching porn at age 6 and since then it’s been how I regulate. I’m sad or angry I got to porn to calm down. I’m happy and excited I go to porn to reward myself. I understand it’s like a bandaid and there are deeper wounds at play but to be completely honest I’m afraid of losing porn as weird as it sounds because it feels like my longest companion yet I’m an adult now and there are better ways to cope and this shame has destroyed so many things in my life and made me feel worthless
I ended up relapsing again and again. Repeating the same cycle. The unfortunate part is I get through a period of abstinence but then at the slightest trigger I am back at it. Blockers etc only work temporary.
A long time ago, masturbation became a part of my nightly routine- it got so regular that it basically turned into the only sure way I can get to sleep. Porn eventually became an essential component of that, so it’s become embedded into my circadian rhythm. If I don’t watch it, I spend hours awake trying not to until I eventually exhaust myself
Fighting or controlling urges usually led to frustration and anxiety which caused me to seek relief. Usually, with porn.
It’s been something I’ve relied on as a comfort, as a support, as something I can use to distract myself from other feelings or stresses in my life
For me, it was all about trying to find something new. After a couple of days of not watching porn, I would start to crave it. Not just to have something to masturbate to, but it was about seeking a new porn video that may arouse my interest. That cycle just keeps on repeating itself for me and I want to stop it.