I am a 25 yr old active male who has had a girlfriend for 2 years. The past 7 months I had really struggled with erections and making sure I can have sex. When I do manage it I notice that my confidence is high and the next few days I can do it. If however I don’t see her for a week or 2 I struggle to get it up as I can sense there is pressure on performing. I am now really thinking about the possibilities of medication but I don’t want to become reliant on it which I feel like could happen. My girlfriend is amazing and is supportive but I know subconsciously it frustrates her and it is so demoralising and borderline depressing. I notice an instant mood switch.
There’s time with the playful action before I’m hard but when it acc gets to the deed it’s like I freeze and just loose my erection and can’t get it back.
Any help, advice or general feedback would be much appreciated.
Cheers
Do the kegel exercises (I downloaded an app called kpfl to help with the hold and release timings), do the sex meditations and also the box breath and other breathing exercises til both become second nature and your body automatically starts doing them when you start to feel stressed or distracted
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Talk to your partner let her know you’re working on it and it’s not her. That can help to relieve pressure. Do the kegels, silencing inner critic exercises on here they can help. Lean into that confident feeling that you have after it works and try to remember it’s all in your head. Your thoughts and feelings are very normal. You got this!
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Try not to focus on erections. Get into things with a playful mood without a goal and only with an idea of having fun while you pleasure her in different ways like foreplay, massage, going down on her, using hands and fingers. I have found that not focusing on getting hard takes the pressure off and erections can happen when you least expect it.