Hey folks, Iām new to mojo and just starting on my journey to recovery.
Iām here because I have issues maintaining an erection during intercourse. Iām able to stay erect and cum with my partner if itās oral or other foreplay, as well as in masturbation.
Among other negative beliefs I hold, the biggest one I have is that I need a certain amount of friction and speed to be able to stay erect and cum. You might have seen guys refer to this on the Internet as death grip.
With said death grip, usually when I masturbate it also doesnāt take me very long to finish. So I feel my brain is conditioned to instant gratification, which isnāt the case during intercourse where the grip/friction/speed donāt match my/partnerās hands.
What advice do you have for me to help retrain my mind and body to enjoy stimulation through intercourse?
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How has your Mojo journey been mate? I have had similar experiences with needing more friction or having to go harder. The best thing that worked for me was to hold off masturbating for a few days and reconnect with my body through touch. Create new pathways for pleasure and know that you donāt have to cum to experience pleasure. The guided masturbation exercises really help to get out of your usual way of doing things and recreate what you would be experiencing with a partner. Hopefully you have been going through each phase at a time and are seeing the benefits. Cheers
Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate it! I gave myself a break from masturbation for about 3 weeks, to give myself distance from the specific way Iāve trained myself to receive pleasure. The retraining myself to lighter touch part is where I havenāt made progress yet so far. Basically my brain is still looking for that death grip. But Iām hopeful that in time it will get fixed, and posts from people like you only increase that hope!
I had the same experience. I got a fleshlight now for when I masturbate and I think thatās helping me. I practice imitating sex with my partner to re-sensitize my penis.
Isnāt the fleshlight, like - even more intense than the real thing? I havenāt tried it but i always thought it was more intense and more pressure than our hands. What goes on with the fleshlight?
Honestly I donāt really know āhowā to masterbate without tight grip - what does that even mean? lol
I replied to another deathgrip thread earlier..
Iām making progress with it. I slowed solo/ porn.
Actively loosened my grip and added a good lube. (Woo coconut) I sometimes use a silicone sleeve and minimal pressure. The other night I tried ultra light pressure, lube, slow speed and started with porn but switched to memories of situations gf and I have been in or her sexy partsā¦. I n her voice I told myself this is all you get. Not speeding up, not gripping tighter. It was hard not to speed up or tighten my gripā¦ When I did finish it was really good!
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