Performance in early masturbation habits

Hey guys,
I’ve had ED most of my life with partners and sometimes with porn. I can easily say I have a porn addiction (recovering now), in the past three months since downloading this app I’ve really enjoyed exploring my own body again, but also identifying some root cause issues I’d never thought before.

So for me I used to pride myself on the fact I could go from soft to cum in 2 minutes. I never realised the journey I was missing out on. I also didn’t realise this was something I should be reinforcing, always trying to rush something. I had to take a step back and ask myself where did this come from and I realised most of my early masturbation/self discoveries a teenager was done online on cam 2 cam programs where my masturbation and sexuality was a performance.

Only in the past month or so have I TRULY slowed down during masturbation bad pushed out these sessions from 15-30 minutes. Instead of panicking if I lose my erection, I welcome it. I use it as an opportunity to stimulate other parts of my body and it feels more like a whole body arousal rather than just localised in my dick.

Again, due to porn being available to me from an early age, I’ve always tied porn or porn imagery to masturbation and sex. In the past month I’m having rock hard erections just by touching my body in places that feel good. I can’t believe how simple it is or sounds, but I feel the build up to climax like normal but it is far slower and the journey is fucking wild. It is like a pleasure loop that just builds and all the while all I’m focussed on is how damn good I’m feeling.

I’m stopped trying to please somebody else, looking good while masturbating etc. this solo time is for me and I genuinely feel like a teenager again discovering my body for the first time. I’ve always had ED because I’m always scared ‘I’ll go down and disappoint my partner’, and I relate this thinking is rooted in performance. I don’t stop to think, geez masturbation feels so good, this is going to feel really good too.

No more death grip too, slow strokes, fast strokes, stopping, starting but is all there. The only thing that surprises me is now the journey and the buildup actually feel better than the climax… probably because I’m cumming for ages too, which feels foreign, but while I didn’t want this to be a look at me post, I did want to ask other guys and help others guys if like me sex/masturbation feels more like a performance than enjoying your body.

If so please, spend more time with yourself and really find out what you like and losing an erection is a temporary thing, as you discover other parts of your body your dick will respond. Trust me.

Happy to hear your story fair play to you
How long has your journey been and when did you start to notice improvement

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I’d be lying if I didn’t say my journey started at 16.
I grew up in an era and with an education that sex is bad and will lead to consequences, mainly STDs. So my first sexual experience with another person was just fear. I didn’t even get hard, I was soft as and somehow I convinced myself that staying soft was keeping me safe. From that experience onwards I planned every sexual encounter around telling each partner this is who I am and what I can to offer. It wasn’t until later in life I challenged that thinking. I gave up porn and masturbation for about four months and the masturbation and solo sessions I had afterwards were amazing. Over time I slipped into bad habits and soon jerking off was this quick thing I did to relieve stress rather than this enjoyable thing I now do with myself, because I can.
I still have a journey to go as I have yet to have a sexual encounter with another person, but I know that I’m no longer chaining that erection every two seconds, and know how hard my dicj can feel wit just my mind and own stimulation.

Cheers for the reply lad
I was in a similar boat for years. Tight grip screen only wanking, always pushing for a finish.
With Mojo 2 months roughly, but only recently made a real go of it. Particularly the mindful stuff. Takes a while to notice any improvement, sometimes i go backwards and then i can go forwards in a leap

I’m lucky I’m seeing a girl who’s fairly supportive, and we’ve had sex a few times, only once was some way enjoyable for us both involved. Albeit neither of us came or came close to it
Nice to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel though

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