Hey guys,
I’ve had ED most of my life with partners and sometimes with porn. I can easily say I have a porn addiction (recovering now), in the past three months since downloading this app I’ve really enjoyed exploring my own body again, but also identifying some root cause issues I’d never thought before.
So for me I used to pride myself on the fact I could go from soft to cum in 2 minutes. I never realised the journey I was missing out on. I also didn’t realise this was something I should be reinforcing, always trying to rush something. I had to take a step back and ask myself where did this come from and I realised most of my early masturbation/self discoveries a teenager was done online on cam 2 cam programs where my masturbation and sexuality was a performance.
Only in the past month or so have I TRULY slowed down during masturbation bad pushed out these sessions from 15-30 minutes. Instead of panicking if I lose my erection, I welcome it. I use it as an opportunity to stimulate other parts of my body and it feels more like a whole body arousal rather than just localised in my dick.
Again, due to porn being available to me from an early age, I’ve always tied porn or porn imagery to masturbation and sex. In the past month I’m having rock hard erections just by touching my body in places that feel good. I can’t believe how simple it is or sounds, but I feel the build up to climax like normal but it is far slower and the journey is fucking wild. It is like a pleasure loop that just builds and all the while all I’m focussed on is how damn good I’m feeling.
I’m stopped trying to please somebody else, looking good while masturbating etc. this solo time is for me and I genuinely feel like a teenager again discovering my body for the first time. I’ve always had ED because I’m always scared ‘I’ll go down and disappoint my partner’, and I relate this thinking is rooted in performance. I don’t stop to think, geez masturbation feels so good, this is going to feel really good too.
No more death grip too, slow strokes, fast strokes, stopping, starting but is all there. The only thing that surprises me is now the journey and the buildup actually feel better than the climax… probably because I’m cumming for ages too, which feels foreign, but while I didn’t want this to be a look at me post, I did want to ask other guys and help others guys if like me sex/masturbation feels more like a performance than enjoying your body.
If so please, spend more time with yourself and really find out what you like and losing an erection is a temporary thing, as you discover other parts of your body your dick will respond. Trust me.