The inner critic has been winning, where it’s impacting my confidence as a man. I’ve been unable to maintain an erection when my wife and I start up. I know it’s in my head as I love my wife but she’s starting to think that it’s me not being sexually attracted to her anymore. We are in our late 30’s n obv we are not as sexy as we used to be and we express our love for each other in different ways. I love her to death.
We are currently trying for a second child n the pressure is on, which is messing with me if im unable to perform. I feel like a piece of shit bc I am the one who wants a second and she is willing to have another n here I am, unable to perform.
I have never used pills before but we talked about inquiring with a Dr about seeing what options look like, and using it as a confidence booster for now, and then ween off them. Does anyone have experience with this?
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ED pills improve blood circulation there so it definitely helps, but do get a prescription from a doctor so the dosage is correct.
I did it but I am still trying to fix the root performance anxiety issues because the pills aren’t working 100% of the time and they’re also not the right fix since the issue is psychological
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Yeah, I’ve tried them as a temporary confidence boost and, for me at least, they can help. They don’t magically create desire, but if you’re already turned on they can make it easier to stay hard, which takes some pressure off.
What I noticed is that because the pill helps the blood flow, it doesn’t drop as easily as naturally. So the erection feels less “fragile”, like it holds steadier and doesn’t fade the second your mind wanders or you change position. And because it’s not dipping so much, you don’t start obsessing over it as quickly, so the spectatoring calms down. But obviously that steadiness is the medication doing some of the work, no guy is perfectly rock solid all the time without it.
I still wouldn’t make it the whole plan. I found it can mess with your head if you start thinking “it only works when I take something”, and then you put even more pressure on the pill nights. And anxiety can still cut through it if you’re fully in your head.
What helped most alongside it was being open with my partner. Literally saying “I’m in my head, it’s not you, can we slow down” was a game changer. And overall being honest, but seems like you two are a team on this! If you’re going to try meds, do it through a doctor for the right dose, and still work on the root stuff in parallel, therapy, sensate focus, breathing, whatever actually gets you out of spectator mode.
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Thank you for sharing your story mate. I was considering exactly the same method.
I’m almost 26 and I’ve just started seeing someone new (and let me tell you, she’s bloody amazing) however, all of her admirations and lovelyness is adding pressure on me to perform and pleasure her. I know the cause is a phycological one, but I feel as though taking a pill could help me gain confidence and take back controll in the bedroom.
We’ve tried sex twice and both times I struggled maintaining an errection. Although I was able to pleasure her through oral sex, we both will be wanting penetrative sex soon.
She’s been so understanding and patient with me in this, however I don’t want to keep her waiting much longer. Do you think I should go through with my plan or wait a little longer for my nerves to settle and confidence to come back?
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I spoke to my doctor and we tired Cialis. Gave me wicked headaches so we switched to Viagra. Works great, I wish I contacted him sooner.
I found viagra works to well in keeping you hard. If anything sometimes it worked a little too well and I lasted longer than I wanted to. I found start with a smaller dose (a quarter of the pill) and then increase to half or more next time if you feel you need it. At the same time have the discussion with your partner which also takes the pressure off…
Hey man. Try cialis 5mg lower dose, let it build up for a few days and then keep taking daily, or just take 10/20mg tablet every 30/36hrs.
I vary the dose. But Tadalafil has saved my sex life tbh, I’m very grateful it exists. My psychogenic ED is deeply rooted and therapy is just not effective. Take the pills that’s why they are available. Also Lib 01 is in development and soon that medication could be the ultimate game changer.
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I was 25 when my ED started. Fact is some me just struggle with this, after a while things will just naturally return to normal. Your bodies nervous system is reacting to a possible threat in your partner. It’s just a primitive thing.
My last long term relationship I had performance issues, then after about a couple year they gradually subsided, disappeared completely. Towards the end of the relationship they appeared again. So this is a word of advice, listen to your body and maybe it’s actually trying to tell you something. That’s all I’ll say.
We are animals and we have instincts. If it’s bothering you then drop some Cialis. I’ve taken it with the last few women I’ve slept with.
Because I’m an emotional bonded person, but sometimes if I want sex and I know deep down my brain won’t allow an erection it’s just best to use the pills. Your penis works on the nervous system.
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Yes. Reading this makes me feel better because I’ve been here too. I use Viagra via HIMs. It helps but the mental aspect is a big driver.
I wish I could keep hard past sex.
Me too friend. I get errections with the pill but then my mind screws with me and its gone. Its terrible, its actually taught me to hate myself.
This is all great fellas, thank you! I have a Dr appt to see what options there are. My concern is not only the psychological reliance of it but being able to ween off them when the time comes. Any experience with this?
What was your dosage? Tadalafil gives me headaches at 10mg but I’m okay at 5mg.
I started at 10 mg every other day then did 5 mg daily, but that wasn’t effective for the ED.
Does viagra help you last longer or just stay hard?
I understand if ED is mostly in your head, the pills usually can’t win. I’m pretty stuck in my head, pills haven’t helped much when with a partner but other do have an effect when alone -
I must be a tough case. Everything down there works fine until I get with my new gf who has had many bfs which is intense pressure. Never worries about being able to perform until after having divorced and tried dating in what is a new landscape of women having many expartners. Not even the pills have broken through that anxiety
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