Been here about a year on/off. I have PED/deathgrip and DE.
A year ago I met the kindest, most understanding woman of them allā¦.
At first I couldnāt even get in. Itās gotten much better over the last year and last night tops them all. Hadnāt seen her in 2 weeks, sheās helping mom recover from surgery. She comes down last night and after a shower, puts on a new bra/ panty set under one of my t shirts. After we make out like teens, she sits me on the bed and goes to town on me. As her neck got sore, I tried to return the favor. As in kissing my way down, she says she just wants me inside her NOW!
OK!!
I was able to get right in!
We went at it for 20-25 min!!! She got close and lost it. I pulled out her fav buzz toy to help. The feel of the buzz plus seeing her play with herself while on fucking herā¦.
She got off I think 4 times total? I had to stop as my knee couldnāt take it anymore. She laid me down and helped me finish. What a damn night!!
It was reassuring to know that my PED was not the limiting factor!!!
Now I gotta keep working on my deathgripā¦.
Good luck boys!!
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I slowed down on solo play and porn like 99%.
Iāve also been doing Kegals/reverse + diaphragm stretches.
Weāve talked about my issues freely and I know that if I lose it- itās not the end of the world- Iāll still be able to get her off more than once. If I lose it- my options are: rub it on her clit, (she loves it and has gotten off many times just from that!), I can go down on her, grab a toy, or just finger herā¦. All of which she really enjoys. I think it was my embarrassment and fear of failure that is (was?) my real issue.
I do also use Rugiet (compound ed med) most times. This is something I need to wean myself off it.
I took one Thurs night which was the best night.
Took another Fri night and that session was pretty good too. I didnāt take one Sat night and I was able to have sex for 10-15 min. I didnāt finish during any of the sessions except Sat night when she started a hand job after she got off a few times during sexā¦ I still had to finish myselfā¦
During each of the sessions, there were several hard/softer segments of my erection.
When Iād go soft I was able to 1. Not panic!
2. Realize it wasnāt over.
3. Focus on a sexy thought or visual either in my head or on her body that got me going.
4. My partner and I now talk openly as weāre having sex. She knows I enjoy knowing what she wants- in explicit words.
Good lunch man!!
9 Likes
7.8.25 addition.
Last weekend I met up with gf again. Sat night I was able to maintain woof for about 20-25 min. She normally needs a toy to cum but we made her cum once without then I grabbed the toy and she had 2 more during sex!! I still couldnāt finish (deathgrip) so she helped but it took a whileā¦
Sun am was even better. I was much harder and it lasted about the same time! My back acted up so she helped finish me.
Iāve been keeping up with Kegals and reverse. I did realize I need to be better about breathing during sex AND that a squeaky bed triggers my inner critic/anxiety that well disturb the neighbors!
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So happy for you bro! Keep inspiring us! Weāll be following in your footsteps soon - this is me manifesting it here
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New to the app. Tryna get a handle on all the terminology. What are you referring to as ādeath gripā? Thanks!!
i think it means being used to your hand, deathgrip. you know your own grip/motion
āConfidentā is right.
Iām so used to my hand, grip and motion that nobody else can finish me. Part of it is mental and part is physical - at least thatās how I feelā¦.
BTW: welcome!
I suggest you look around and read as much as possible. Thereās a lot of good info here.
7.24.25 update.
Last night the gf moved home from staying at moms after momās surgery. After a shower she comes to bed in a sheer nightie and another new sexy as hell pair of pantiesā¦. I had taken a rugiet an hour before. I was soooo happy to see her. So was my dick. Normally pills have a hard time overcoming my PED, Iāve been keeping up on Kegals and trying to keep negative thoughts at bay. The last several times weāve been together have been positive and better each time.
After we made out like teens, she puts me in her big leather chair and says āyou deserve some chair time!ā With a grin on her face. Grabs a pillow for her knees and gives me the best head Iāve ever had. Also got me super hard! (Big improvement!) Her neck usually gets sore after 10-15 min- then it was my turn. I stood her up and kissed her all over and eventually got to those pantiesā¦.
After a lot of oral, I Eventually put her on the bed and entered. Damn! I was able to go for about 20-25 minutes. Iām 54 and pretty much wore myself out. I got close a couple times and actually asked if I can finish inside her- she got super excited and really started encouraging me. It was about 10 minutes later I just wore outā¦ awful close, but no cigarā¦ she finished a couple times during sex and a few times before that during foreplayā¦
Best sex ever!
For helping with my PED I credit : honest, open communication about it. Including discussing hang ups, embarrassment and things that reallly turn you both on. Also Kegals, & reverse and regulating your breathing. Also do not panic when you lose it. My strategy is stay calm and confident. Use some spit and rub yourself on her. Mine loves it! Gets her going and that gets me back on track.
For my deathgrip: Iāve been going solo with porn less, using a really good lube, a very light grip and trying to use imagination instead of porn.
Good luck fellas!!