My inner critic shows up the loudest just before and during sex. It’s a constant I would say or at least a constant when I think about sex. I’m with a new partner (just dating) we haven’t had sex yet but I’m already worrying about if and when we do. I find myself going to it unconsciously during every day tasks
Do you struggle the most during things like oral or other activities that are mainly for her pleasure? Those moments feel the most high-stakes to me.
By other activities I mean her favorite position and so on.
My inner critic shows up initially when I learn I am having sex. I have the tools to calm myself and get back in my body, so I am not unconfident about that. I find that when I start having sex, the inner critic can jolt up again, and come in through an increased heart rate and telling me to spectate. I recognize the unhelpfulness of this, and I will continuously remind myself that I am safe and am just doing this to have fun connecting with my girlfriend. I feel confident that I can recognize the inner critic for what it is, and come back to the body.
1 Like
My inner critic shows up just as I know I’m about to have sex with my wife. I don’t have a problem, recognizing my inner critic. My problem comes when my mind then stops and pulls myself out of the moment to engage my inner critic to tell it to calm down once that happens I’m out of the moment and the sexual desire and my erection go away.
3 Likes
My inner critic is most prominent shortly after I find out I’ll be having sex. It’ll cause racing thoughts and for me to go over every scenario of something wrong happening, but have recently been able to catch the critic before I get too carried away
1 Like
I learned the my inner critic shows up as a thought immediately. Even just thinking about sex, especially with a new partner sparks my critic. I learned that my critic is only active about 70% of the time. Which means that I actually have more control than I though. I learned the my critic tells me that my partner is not satisfied, even when I’m satisfying them. I noticed this as the inner critic, not as reality.
1 Like
My inner critic is there every time. It is relentless and I struggle to silence it
My inner critic comes to me as a constricting feeling in my body if I don’t relax it can really take over then the dialogue comes in I learned that it’s the feelings and dialogue comes separately it’s helping me understand myself and better overcome the inner critic
It shows up almost immediately if there’s even a hint at the chance of hooking up
1 Like
My inner critic is that I’m afraid to do the unexpected sex
1 Like
My inner critic jumps up right away when I’m engaging in spontaneous hook ups. While it is not always speaking to me during, it’s usually there. It goes away when I’m feeling confident about myself.
My inner critic shows up as feeling before sec but only with a new partner and when I’m not feeling confident
It’s often present, so how do I control it?
My inner critic shows up when sex is pretty much planned. It’s all that I can think of and it affects my confidence. In the moment, it shows up when intimacy starts.
1 Like
Mine shows up as a feeling as soon as I think sex might even be a potential that night. I think it lingers affecting how i act apart from the moments I relax out of it by taking my mind off it..but comes back when im reminded of the possibility of sex again. Even just realising this makes me feel better
3 Likes
It shows up after, if I feel like I didn’t last long enough
1 Like
When I know I’m gonna have sex and have had a long dry spell it shows up then is persistent and increasing until the event itself which obviously the mean getting or staying hard becomes a huge challenge
Sometimes my inner critic comes off more like a naggy feeling of insecurity. I am learning to shake it off more readily though.
2 Likes
He tells me my erection will fail