Not assuming what the other person is thinking or feeling
Nothing in particular but I’ve been conflict avoidant almost my whole life which tends to leave a lot unsaid leading to even more conflict so this is a good stepping stone
I spent a lot of my life and relationships avoiding uncomfortable conversations and situations, but my wife is a therapist and she’s helped me immensely in coming at things head on. I’ve learned to be patient, non-judgemental, and own the things I need to. Having these kinds of conversations with her (and others) has become second nature.
I need to work on a really standing up for myself in conflicts and not letting the other person walk all over me. I was in a very long relationship where I was never allowed to voice my feelings. I learned during that time that the best thing to do was forget anything I wanted or needed and only give her what she wanted. Obviously this wasn’t healthy. I stayed in the relationship because it was all I knew and was too scared to start life over again. I left that relationship and now I’m trying to relearn what a healthy relationship is and realize that my thoughts and feelings matter just as much
Letting her know how I feel here and now instead of down the line. Waiting to long only leads to resentment.
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Getting my emotional needs met.
Not automatically switching to being a caretaker. Letting my partner have her own feelings in the moment and not trying to change them even if the feelings make me uncomfortable
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I’m working on closeness.
Trying not to be defensive when something is addressed directly to me but listen first and understand before responding.
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Getting the issue sorted out there and then, instead of down the line.
Addressing the issue there and then making the effort to bring it up and not trying to avoid conflict for peace that’s the only way you get through things together
I need to be a better listener and not think that I have to have all of the answers and give a solution to her issue, when she hasn’t requested one. I also need to learn to better regulate my emotions, as when we fight, I can feel the fear and anxiety rise and take over as I know I am going to make this worse. I need to be more mindful of my thoughts and words before I say them.
Trying not to be defensive or irritable and to be a better listener with my partner
Trying to deal with issues as they arise instead of burying them and let them fester over weeks or months.
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I need to be more attentive to her and know when to nudge and when to hold space
If and when I start to see red flags, I need to address them at that moment, not wait until I blow up.
I avoid conflict, plain and simple. However, I realize this isn’t healthy in any aspect of my life and need to do a better job of understanding my emotions, speaking them out loud, and working through those feelings that make me uncomfortable in order to grow as a person.
She gets mad because I can’t express what I’m thinking, and it’s not just her me my brother and I had an argument about it
I need to be better at hearing what she saying, seeing her for her, feeling what she feels and showing her that I appreciate and value her. I have said these things to her to let her know I know my shortcomings and I am working on them. That creates angst I believe in her which then shuts things down so I need to be better at opening it up in a more structured way
I need to listen and not get too defensive
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