A recurring argument with my ex that often escalated was me wanting to build a home life with them and having emotional and physical intimacy with them. The conflict occurred repeatedly because they preferred an arms length relationship.
I snapped at my Mum in the car because she kept telling me there was a gap in the roundabout when I didn’t think there was. What did she need in that moment? I don’t know, maybe she was just feeling anxious or eager to get where we were going. I explained that I would drive when I felt it was safe to do so, that was my decision - not hers - I did it in an angry but not particularly loud way. In hindsight, I could have discussed it with her afterwards, or just replied no I don’t think there is a gap there. There was no need for the conflict at that moment in time. I could have told her that I felt uncomfortable with her comments afterwards when I wasn’t driving.
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I think my girlfriend feels ashamed because she makes decisions to impress me with her physical appearance, which may put her in financial trouble with the needs of her children.
I feel afraid to tell her that her physical appearance is less important to me than she thinks because her physical appearance is a big part of her self-esteem, and my need is for her to be more honest with me about what is going on in her life.
In my last relationship I didn’t say what was on my mind( in a non combative way). It just got worse over time, got to the point that I was walking on eggshells constantly. Didn’t want to have sex with her in fear of doing something wrong. I plan on changing this with my new girlfriend. Keep the lines of communication open guys.
I feel misunderstood.
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In my previous relationship things were generally good, but I avoided being fully honest and direct about my needs at times. She wanted more playfulness and extroversion and socialising; I needed her to understand some of the challenges I was going through but struggled to communicate them well.
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In my previous relationship i tried to be honest with my ex wife but the arguments kept on getting worse , constantly walking on eggshells then slowly losing trust because she had a habit of lying whenever she fucked up even on the most basic and stupid things . Then when we had enough and when the sex became like chore or not enjoying it luckily we both agreed to call the marriage quits i guess that was the one if the moments we were honest about our feelings and listened to each other and accepted the situation for what it is
In a previous relationship I was hesitant to voice my needs until it got too much and I was honest, this unfortunately(or fortunately) ended the relationship as she was unable to meet those needs
I think with some hook ups, they have felt unattractive, annoyed, unfulfilled, experienced. With how I have difficulty with erections and sex. I think they needed me to be open about having a good time, even if I don’t get off. And maybe for me to get out toys for penetration or something similar
My father and I argue about my future constantly, as I graduated 10 months ago and still haven’t found a job related to my career (Animation). I always turn him down as I really don’t feel like his constant sermons are helping, so I guess I feel frustration, while he keeps on coming because he feels he needs to guide me, so I guess he feels disappointed but, more than anything, restless.
I’ve actually been applying this to my business partner… We have a good relationship but it’s got more stressful recently because he has been stepping on my toes a lot. I feel that he’s not trusting me but I suspect it’s actually because he is feeling very stressed. I’ve tackled it once, but I need to tackle it again using these questions.
This may not seem related to sexual problems, but it has manifested in ED - basically, I’ve been stressed and not putting up my boundaries in a calm way.
I avoid problems. I trick myself into thinking i will do something about it later, then i never do. I hate conflict, but this just causes the problem to get worse. I need to address things head on.
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I have found it really difficult to say my needs and I often focus on the problem/thing that triggering me rather than why it’s triggering me. That’s been a big step for me. I remember I had a girlfriend who smoked and it used to really annoy me. Was it the smoking that annoyed me or was it the fact that it just indicated that we really weren’t suited, but I just couldn’t say my needs in that situation. We just weren’t that suited and we split up but was no fun at all.
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With my ex partner, every time we had an argument, she had to get the last line in, no matter what. Meant we often went to bed angry or upset and made me think that no matter what I did or said, it wouldn’t be good enough because she would always try and explain why she was right. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes she was, but in retrospect I think that was really unhealthy for me and meant she had all the power. Obviously this didn’t help our sexy life as I felt I was always walking on egg shells and trying to avoid conflict.
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Not something new but I had forgotten about it and I shall try it with my flammable wife
She has felt rejected and undesired for some time now due to my ED and more specifically, my not doing anything about it. All she wanted was some reassurance that I do still desire her and make her feel beautiful. I felt disappointed and ashamed of myself that my inaction to seek help or get treatment sooner, has led to my wife, the love of my life, to believe that I don’t find her attractive and don’t want to be intimate with her.
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Frustrated with son’s expectations
I’ve spent too much of my marriage feeling sad because my wife just doesn’t make my sexual needs a priority. Sex is something she likes to take down off the shelf then put away when she is done. There are no little moments of intimacy in everyday life. I was depressed for a long time because of this, but could never tell her. I became detached, but am now reconnecting with the attitude that I own my feelings, and it is my job to do things that make me happy. I am focusing on my many hobbies and am much happier. She is finally starting to notice, as she is now making bids for connection, something she never used to do. I still love her, I just don’t focus on who she isn’t, as that just led to despair. I once believed that if I pamper her she would pamper me too. This was unhealthy. I now have zero expectations.
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I have a tendency to avoid conflicts and remove myself before they become 10/10 blowouts so I don’t have a great example for reference - thinking about this tendency I have of conflict aversion, it’s probably unhealthy for me to shoulder all the blame to get out of a conflict without properly addressing the primary issues. This probably has lead to me shouldering more of an internalized burden of responsibility to make the other party happy and beating myself up when I do this
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I can relate to a recent argument where their feeling was one of being overwhelmed and they probably wanted some equality,