Realizing I’ve never explored my own body

💭 Mental health
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I’m 36, averagely sexually experienced, was married for 8 years (now divorced), and came here after a few failed attempts at sex in my new dating life. I realized doing the guided masturbation exercises tonight that I’ve never actually touched and explored my own body. Sex has always been sort of a mindless, and dare I say, slightly dissociative experience. These guided exercises felt very different, liberating, and illuminating. This seems so obvious, but they helped me understand sex is about the body, and about a process that happens moment by moment through physical sensation. It’s not about a result (erection) that leads to another result (intercourse) that leads to another result (climax). I enjoyed the process, successfully got an erection, and climaxed, and enjoyed all of it. I even did it without porn, which has been a challenge since my divorce. I’m hoping next occasion I have with a woman in my bed I can slow down and allow myself to allow her to explore my body. This is really good stuff.

P.S. a note to the MOJO people, it would be cool to be able to select a male or female voice for the exercises. I know with voice tech these days it’s easy to do. No disrespect to anyone, but personally don’t want to hear a deep gravelly voice talking about caressing my penis. Users should have the preference.

4 Likes
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Yes Yes to this - me too. Also assisted with the solo sensate work. Transformed my masturbation and highlighted how distracting (in a bad way) porn has been.

Agree re voices although I find all the voices somewhat irritating if not actively creepy but I guess you need some guidance!

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You can usually change the voice, or switch to a transcript. It’s normally on the main screen of the exercise, in the top right corner. Not every exercise has it, but most of them do.

On the directed masturbation exercise, I also found it pretty interesting. I went and did a bit of extra reading on mindful masturbation, and I’ve been practicing it for a few weeks now. I’m not claiming it’s some magic cure, but I do notice changes, mainly that it helps me shift my mindset and stop treating it like a rushed task. Also helped with controlling my arousal, delayed ejaculation and staying in the moment.

My main goals were to make solo feel more like real sex. More lube, lighter grip, slower pace, slower strokes, mixing up the strokes and positions, and catching myself when I slip into autopilot. No sudden speeding up, no clenching, no rushing to orgasm. I also try not to make orgasm the goal every single time, more like a bonus if it happens. Definitely recommend giving it a proper go for a few weeks before judging it.