What scripts did you learn growing up?

  • Was sex talked about openly or avoided?
  • What language did you use to talk about your penis?
  • Did you receive any messages about masculinity?
  • How did your first sexual experiences shape you?

What’s your first memory of talking about sex?

Talking about it at school, it felt like a race to be one of the lads that had sex first

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Sex was not a topic of conversation in my family. I never saw my parents be affectionate towards one another. At school, it was considered cool to talk about it in an healthy way.

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Sex was literally never discussed in my house. Ever.. except for one time when my dad told me to keep my snake in my pants I was 14 years old. That was my sex talk. One time I got caught accidentally downloading porn, and I think he was so embarrassed. He yelled at me that that would never occur in his house and that was the end of it. All the other boys in my class were in such a hurry to have sex. I took that as a cue to do the same. I ended up having sex with a girl. I didn’t love who I didn’t even find all that attractive, I’m pretty sure was very into me so I used her. It was a horrible experience and we went on to have more horrible experiences. She was crushed and heartbroken and I used her to make myself feel validated.

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Sex is something I struggle to talk about. I can make innuendo or joke but when it comes to talking about what I want, I find it hard to do. It can feel comfortable to think about but putting it into words is difficult.

Sex was considered like a big issue with my family my mom dad aunt uncle and everyone in the family mostly avoided or something as a big deal

My penis size It should be so big so I can satisfy the woman since young age and I always taught it was small until I get the adult stage

Masculinity is more being able to penetrate seduce woman and no matter what I have to be hard since young age that was my taught and never understood the meaning of sex or the satisfaction about it it’s always about the woman

Sex was avoided, my first sexual encounter was traumatic, no sex education on male/male sex… The list goes on

Sex was frowned upon as I grew up very religious. Most sex talk was jokes or gossip. My first sexual experiences were traumatic and I am working on healing.

Never, neither at home

Lots of petting, but no penetration

Believed sex has to go a certain way in order to have a relationship at all

Sex was never discussed other than jokingly amongst friends - I think we all felt too awkward and uncomforatbalt to propoerly speak about it. Never called it a penis, it was always ‘dick’, ‘cock’, ‘wang’ or other such slang words. Never had any real guidance around masculinity other than perceptions from porn movies; had to have a big cock and had to be able to get rock hard instantly and be able to fuck multiple partners in one session. My first sexual encounter was really awkward and uncomfortable with me being so excited/nervous that I lasted about 30 seconds. I think on reflection this had a bit of an impact on my self perception aorund my ability with women.

Sec was talked about pretty openly especially when kids first started masturbating. My first sexual encounter wasn’t bad although I had no idea what I was doing

We never really had any sex éducation other than being shown pictures of stis - certainly no conversations about what is normal, what some common difficulties are in the bedroom and how to approach them. And certainly nothing ever about how gay sex works. We learn through porn - which is an unrealistic example

never really talked about in younger years in school, unless it was about fucking somone and haveing se or havung a normal convo about it and ofcourse lots of jokes and porn

We had sex education in the last year of primary school and it was good but at that age there’s only a certain amount you need to know. I wish I was more willing to speak to my parents about relationships and what’s right and wrong because as a young adult you can easily be lead to believe some things are normal when they aren’t.

Catholic education that said sex was for making babies. I never believed that.

But I did have a mother who believed girls corrupted men.

So yeah, I had fair share of hang ups about sex and relationships.