I was fearful and ignored it hoping it would go away. But it never did. Now we discuss and work together
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It is anxiety provoking but important. I brought it up but it came out a bit nervous and clunky, but I’m glad that I got it out and said what I said. It was good to do and it’ll make any future conversations easier.
I have broached the topic in the past but never went fully into it, and I think I could do better at owning it and being confident with it. It’s only an occasional issue so a lot of the time I have no problems
It feels awkward and like I’m giving the problem more power, but I realize discussing what I need in the bedroom empowers me.
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I haven’t put enough effort into solving this in the past. Now that we have kids, sex has become even more difficult and stressful because we have to fit it into a limited time window, which only adds to the performance pressure. My wife is frustrated that I didn’t deal with this earlier, and that I also didn’t communicate openly about it back then, so that we could focus on each other during the little time we have for intimacy now. Instead, we’re also battling performance anxiety.
I feel like she’s disappointed, and that it makes her want sex even less because it ends up adding stress rather than relieving it, the way it could if I didn’t have these issues.
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Since me and my wife have been married for soon to be 4 years and we dated for about 6-7 years prior, we’ve had some conversations like this about my struggles but I don’t think I’ve been fully willing to be totally vulnerable about it with her and that’s what I want to improve on is my willingness to be vulnerable and feel insecure while pushing myself to have a more consistent and healthy sexual conversation with my wife about my issues
I would be comfortable doing over I know the person. If it’s a hookup or ons situation, I’d be anxious to start trying to sex them.
Good topic and I agree with it. I told my partner about this and I appreciate she says she supports me. Even though we break up for now I still want to say thank you to her
My wife isn’t interested in communicating or supporting me so I’m trying to sort things out alone.
I need to just start talking and it will be easy once I get going but I’m resisting being vulnerable and trying something new
Sorry to hear that. Have you suggested counselling?
Yes we’ve been to counselling but that didn’t help. They just teamed up on me.
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I gotta admit that it is not easy, but I had to do it before sometimes. But it is indeed more complex when you don’t know the other person well. The best way is to take it lightly, and make it clear that there are ways to be good even if such an issue arises.
That is great to hear. I’ve always had challenges identifying and sharing what I need or want in the bedroom. Can you share a bit more about how it has empowered you? Thanks!
I have been married over 20 years with my only sexual partner (high school girlfriend) and have always had concerns about this. We have discussed it and gone through therapy but I need a more direct way to own it and communicate it and hope that these tools will really help to finally move this part of our relationship forward.
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Its getting easier to talk about it with my wife. She knows what I’m doing to work on it and sees some progress when we hit an obstacle but sometimes I still perform. Sometimes she freaks out, and that makes things far more serious and difficult to overcome
I feel open to it, but heal uncertain about how to actually start. My inner critic jumps in to make me reprimand stall rather then explore ways I could plan for end encourages the conversation. It tells me all about hot it assume they will repsond, even if theres evidence in the relationship to the contrary
It’s really difficult for me to discuss. I have a difficult time finding the right words to explain my issues and how it makes me feel.
It’s ok to discuss, and we have done multiple times, but it’s not something positive to talk about and it often dampens the mood. It also hasn’t entirely fixed the issue.
Open communication has been a perpetual struggle for me. The information here wasn’t anything I didn’t know already, so I’m not sure how this is going to help me get better at it.