Negative: I want be able to get hard during foreplay
Alternate: foreplay is one of the high points of sexual intercourse and that’s when I most aroused and just because something happened once or twice doesn’t mean its permanent
I cant keep my érections during sex, it happen again
I’m too nervous for normal sexual function.
Replace with I can do sexual things when I’m nervous.
Negative thought: I can’t get hard during sex and I never will again.
Alternative thought: I do get hard and have sex confidently
I must get hard for sex to be enjoyable.
I can still enjoy everything even if I don’t get hard.
I can make people cum using many other ways than my penis. Sometimes the pressure I feel doesn’t exist.
You will never get hard for sex
I can’t be in the moment
Thought: I don’t like myself when I can’t get it up and feel bad because I keep letting my wife down and she feels unattractive
Alternative : I have stayed hard before and can do it again if I just learn how to relax consistently
Negative thoughts: my wife is talking to a new girlfriend who she might explore sexually with. She won’t let me know how it goes and ends up picking her.
Reprogram thought: she is just talking to this person, she has shown me the messages. And if they do anything she open to having me present.
Thought: I hate that I can’t get hard when I want to and porn has fried my brain.
Negative thought: Im not going to get it up I’m going to disappoint my girl.
Positive thoughts: Every time before this was amazing this time is no different relax enjoy the moment
Thought: something is seriously wrong with my body which interferes with my ability to get erections.
Refutation:
Ive been to more than a few doctors to see that there is nothing wrong with me physically but i need to prepare myself mentally for the good experiences im going to have from now on. I’m on the right track.
That I can easily get hard, I just need to get past my anxiety issues to keep it
Thought: I can’t get hard the first few times with a new partner
Answer: I’ve had hundreds of great sexual experiences without any issues. Just because it’s a new partner doesn’t mean it’s bound to fail.
Thought: I probably won’t get hard.
Answer: I get hard easily all the time. I’ve had some real good experiences in the past week where I felt like I was back to having sex the way I use to.
Thought: I am not good enough, I can’t get erect or hard with some sort of pill, and can’t please my partner.
Answer: I can get hard without anything, I’ve done it before, fine with past partners and with my current partner, and I can sexually please my partner.
I can get hard - I know it’s possible and I just have to put the anxiety past me
I couldnt get hard in the beginning, but I did get hard when we had oral. It is all just a matter of mental state and intimacy.
I can last long, I just need to pay attention to other sensations & stay connected