Not think that staying hard is an everyone problem and in fact other things like stress, tiredness, alcohol and general energy could be effecting me more so than my negative thoughts
“I should always be able to get hard for my partner”
I’m almost always stressed about external things during sex, my prior erectile issues are causing stress and anxiety and perpetuating my issues getting hard. It’s not my fault, I just need to deal with these issues.
I have a problem getting hard. My brain is so attracted to her, but unfeeling like my body isn’t connected at all. Sometimes it works and sometimes not and I don’t know why. Im so worried that she’ll leave me eventually, because she has said it which makes it 10x worse. But I’m gott ing on it and I’m trying really hard, which in kind of proud of.
A recent time I had sex, all was going well until the point of penetration. I got anxious and it went soft. I felt ashamed and embarrassed
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I put too much pressure on myself to perform, because I didn’t know when the next time I would have sex. So when the time came to have sex, I couldn’t get it up and there was no foreplay either. I know that I shouldn’t put that kind of pressure on myself and that I should go with the flow and be in the moment. This will be a challenge, but it’s my biggest hurdle.
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Me and my partner had a romantic date, we came home and got intimate. I am always hard during foreplay but lose it when we begin penetration. It’s been happening for months, but she finally spoke about it and was upset and self conscious, believing it was her that makes me lose it. Something’s clearly affecting my body, but that doesn’t mean I’m broken. I can get hard during foreplay - that means my body is capable. This is something I can work on.
When watching movies the guy is always “rock hard” after a little bit of kissing and because of this I always feel like a failure when after kissing and jumping I’m still soft. This then leads to performance anxiety during more intense foreplay or attempted sex
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In reality everybody gets hard at their own pace and to different things. Just because I’m not hard instantly doesn’t mean I can’t get hard
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I often think she is not enjoying it or is faking it to make me feel better. Though, while watching her and even after it’s clear that she is.
Even though I have most of my life together, I’ve always suffered from a “what if” mentality. I believe it comes from trying to achieve goals that my parents have placed on me, in most aspects, it has helped me achieve many things in life, mostly because of over-preparong, but the “what if” mentality has now effected me on the bedroom. It’s my own expectations of how things should go, instead of just letting things happen.
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Not actually to do with sex, but I’m not making the progress I was hoping for or expecting in my career pursuits and creative projects. Getting a high number of rejections and being ignored was really getting me down today - but after this exercise I have realised this is all part of the process (unfortunately), and that it doesn’t mean it’s going to last forever.
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I feel like our sexual relationship is defined by my “failures” at times, and I want to work on reminding myself that I’m really him and I’ve given her untold pleasure time and time again, and I’ll continue to do so
Even now just thinking about sex and changing positions especially makes me think why would I bother?
Being able to question that narrative is really powerful. Takes a weight off my mind.
I just feel like once I try and put my cock in it’ll go floppy, but I know this is just in my mind and I WILL overcome this.
I put a lot of pressure on myself and I need to learn and work on taking the pressure off
I put too much pressure on myself. my partner is satisfied even I feel I didn’t preform well enough for her.
I think that I’m not going to be able to get hard and perform when I need to
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This whole problem is all in my head. I do not want to feel the shame i felt the first time i was unable to perform and my inner critic does its best to stop me from even trying to get in that situation again.
I put too much pressure on myself.
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I obsess over getting it up which takes away the enjoyment of foreplay. Being single my experience right now is with girls i’m dating. In the moment I’m constantly analysing the situation and trying to think ‘what’s the best thing I can do in this moment’ which must be taking me away from my enjoyment because she reaches down and feels that I’m not hard at all.. I convince myself that she’s expecting me to be hard and when I’m not I get in my head which makes it even harder.. part of it for me is that I need to accept that she may see me soft and that’s ok, I just need to re-center and slow down. There’s other ways we can have fun without me being hard and if i can relax during that, I’m sure it’ll happen
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