That I will not be able to maintain my errection.
reprogram: I have before, so I will again
Thought: no pretty girl would ever be attracted to me and my direct communication style.
Reprogram: there’s lots of girls out there who love direct talk, and my future partner is someone who would appreciate that about me.
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I’m not able to finish.
Repro: I can finish as I enjoy sex because I use my inner coach to reprogram my stamina
I can’t get hard during foreplay.
reprogram: I can get hard
My partner needs to see me hard so they know I am turned on by them. I’m a failure if I don’t.
Reprogram: we both have great sex and enjoy it with or without an erection
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I need to last a long time in bed before orgasming every single time.
Reprogramming: I want to have meaningful sex where the goal is connection and not about performance.
An erection is how I show I love her - this is bullshit and the pressure stresses me out. Leading to know erection and an endless cycle.
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I just did a self talk exercise and I feel so much more empowered. I have a negative loop that my partner will not love me or leave. I reminded myself that what she’s looking for is something else. She’s looking for a man who takes accountability. Doesn’t project blame onto her. And owns his shit. That will speak louder than any momentary lapse in sexual performance.
Me not lasting long enough would push her away- she’s said multiple times she would prefer that over lasting too long, I gotta stop worrying. And she always is eager for round 2
Just because it’s happened in the past, doesn’t mean it will happen in the future.
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My performance is directly tied to how she values and sees me.
She likes me for so many other reasons, and if she’s right for me she will work through this as a partner, and not leave like a dissatisfied customer.
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Just because I finished to early, doesn’t mean I cannot last long and enjoy the whole experience
I won’t be able to get it up next time.
Reprogram: you’ve gotten it before thousands of times before.
Thoughts: I could not not get hard and I fear she will stop seeing me because of my poor performance.
I am jumping to conclusions too quickly. Whether she leaves me is out of my control. What is in my control is to focus on my sexual health. If I was in her shoes and liked someone, I would work with them to solve the issue. That is the first step towards a healthy relationship.
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I wouldn’t get hard at all under all that pressure
I’m afraid I won’t get hard when time to have sex Or I do get hard but I go soft before penetration.
Reprogram: I’ve had spontaneous sex hundreds of times. The thought of not getting hard doesn’t even come to mind
Im afraid I will lose my erection the moment the focus is directed toward me. I fear she will leave me because of it and I wont be able to find a meaningful connection again because of my issue.
I’ve had sex countless times before and there’s nothing physically wrong with me. There is no reason to believe I won’t get it up in the future. She also told me she was not disapointed and seemed very relaxed and happy last time it happened anyway. Does not seem to be in a rush to explore sex neither, she’s open to letting me some time to work on it and help me through it.
I get afraid I won’t stay hard enough to really do it well.
I will never be able to climax during sex
You won’t keep your erection if you take too long between foreplay and penetration.
In spontaneous sex and times when I’m not in a negative feedback loop, I don’t lose my erection in downtime, pauses, or position changes. I have the control, and my mind is within my control. I am young and healthy, nothing is wrong with me.
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