Happened randomly one time and I haven’t shaken the feeling since. Been 18months now with only about 4months in between where there was no issues. Then it reoccurred and here I am
When we’re kissing it’s all good, until she tries to touch me suddenly or whenever sex is about to start, negative thoughts come and it’s very difficult to overcome. It really depends on the day and how comfortable I am at the moment.
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Once I feel myself feeling like I’m not going to be hard I make myself not hard… it’s almost like I am looking for it to happen
I seem to be able to get hard and stay hard during any sort of foreplay but as soon as it comes to it, I can’t get out of my own head and put on so much pressure on myself to perform. My partner is so patient so this is more of a personal mental blocker which is causing a bit of a self-feeding negativity loop
Im attracted to her, im hard when we’re cuddling and rubbing each other but when it comes to sex it just goes soft
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Even when I’m emotionally and physically attracted to my partner, and they make it clear that there’s pressure on me from their end to get hard, I can’t get hard for more than a few minutes and when I do I can’t help but think constantly about how to keep that erection or how best to take advantage of it while it’s present
Same. When I get one during foreplay I feel pressure to use it immediately as worry might not happen again. Makes the sex worse.
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I’d say I can definitely get in my head from time to time, it helps me to focus on them and bring myself back into the moment
I think about it going down and it does
I find with someone new I normally can’t relax enough to get out of my head. I’m not in the moment and instead thinking about if I’m gonna get hard
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Right when i start paying attention to how hard i am, everything just seems to spiral downward. During my best sex, im never even thinking of how hard i am - it just feels natural
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It’s like I intellectually know I want to have sex but I emotionally don’t feel it.
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Never happened before. Started seeing this new person, who I really like. First couple times absolutely no problem and now things are potentially becoming more serious I can’t seem to get super hard to have sex. Really annoying
I also don’t know if I’m fully hard when oral sex starts but now it’s happened a couple times I’m worried this is going be stuck in my head
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same
I don’t know if my secondary partner takes the loss of erection personally. My primary partner definitely does not take it personally. She is always there for me. I am starting to think there isn’t a physical problem as my issues started right when a very stressful life change happened.
But definitely once I lose the erection, the stress levels increase and it’s pretty much over
That’s exactly what I have happen.
I let the fact that I can’t stay hard , effect my confidence and self image
Its incredibly frustrating to be into the sex and wanting the pleasure and release only to start worrying about going soft and then it was all for nothing
I definetly agree that when I start to go soft because of the feeling of having to perform, that’s it, I can’t bring it back, no matter how hard I try