I do feel the need to rush and perform
3 Likes
Yes- conditioned to see myself through the male gaze during sex- rather than being in my body- makes it hard to focus on my pleasure.
7 Likes
Feeling like it’s my fault
1 Like
Worrying about taking too long, wishing I found it easier so that he didn’t have to put so much effort in, and I didn’t have to ask for it. All seems to (ironically) make it harder and harder to actually orgasm.
4 Likes
I definitely feel like it’s my fault when he has to work so hard to try to make me orgasm (even though it doesn’t work) and I don’t have to work as hard. He likes to be in control which I prefer as well but then he gets tired and doesn’t always want me to take over.
Yep
I struggle with managing male partners’ feelings of ‘inadequacy’ when we try things and they still don’t work, and worry about sex starting to feel like ‘a drag’ rather than a space of fun and joy.
2 Likes
I don’t want my partners to feel bad if I can’t orgasm a certain way, so I try even if I know I can’t. I put more effort into trying to make my partners feel good than my own pleasure.
I was taught that I shouldn’t even be having sex in the first place because that means I’m a whore and nice girls don’t do that. I still can’t shake that mentality and I’m married!