I do feel the need to rush and perform
4 Likes
Yes- conditioned to see myself through the male gaze during sex- rather than being in my body- makes it hard to focus on my pleasure.
9 Likes
Feeling like it’s my fault
1 Like
Worrying about taking too long, wishing I found it easier so that he didn’t have to put so much effort in, and I didn’t have to ask for it. All seems to (ironically) make it harder and harder to actually orgasm.
10 Likes
I definitely feel like it’s my fault when he has to work so hard to try to make me orgasm (even though it doesn’t work) and I don’t have to work as hard. He likes to be in control which I prefer as well but then he gets tired and doesn’t always want me to take over.
2 Likes
Yep
I struggle with managing male partners’ feelings of ‘inadequacy’ when we try things and they still don’t work, and worry about sex starting to feel like ‘a drag’ rather than a space of fun and joy.
5 Likes
I don’t want my partners to feel bad if I can’t orgasm a certain way, so I try even if I know I can’t. I put more effort into trying to make my partners feel good than my own pleasure.
5 Likes
Feeling like it’s too much of an ask. Like, I’m in convenient or that something’s wrong. Because I can’t.
1 Like
I was taught that I shouldn’t even be having sex in the first place because that means I’m a whore and nice girls don’t do that. I still can’t shake that mentality and I’m married!
1 Like
I am always concious about noise, either I think I’m making too much or not enough. The performative side of sex makes me absent and not full present in my sensations
8 Likes
I feel like since I’ve started having more orgasms during sex in my current it has put even more pressure for it to happen every time making me way more in my head, I can’t focus on what’s actually happening
3 Likes
The feel of being too much or thinking they are gonna think less of themselfs and not want to have sex with me.
Feeling like I’m too much work or comparing myself to his past partners he was able to get off without the extra time and effort.
3 Likes
Performance, got to make it exciting for him as he is far more experienced and adventurous
1 Like
Literally all the reasons listed resonated with my experience.
Definitely resonated with many of the experiences expressed. Feeling like our pleasure is labour intensive or a burden…
Nearly all of them.
I add that sex needs to be relaxed and i did not relax until all work was done, i.e. never
Performing instead of focussing on my pleasure has been an issue for me in the past. Now its just feeling like there is enough time to just enjoy learning what I really like with my new partner.
The judgment young girls have for experimenting with themselves or other. I never experienced it but it put me off for a long time