What has stopped you from communicating what you need to be able to orgasm during partnered sex?

❓ Course questions
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Share your answers with others in the course.

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Not knowing what I liked, feeling embarrassed to say

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Not knowing how to explain what I need and having a partner who is silent and quick

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It feels like I can only orgasm when I have a toy way way up inside me.

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I don’t necessarily know what to tell them

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Worrying that they won’t be interested or turned on by what I need to orgasm (toy and tightening/straightening of my legs). Feeling silly for needing something so specific, and not being able to orgasm from penetration alone.

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I feel like I rely so heavy on toys now that when he touches me I don’t actually know what I like/sometimes it hurts because I don’t know how to express what I want. Last time I tried using my hand it took ages and I get in my head about that with my partner so I just fake it

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I relate to this (tightening and straight legs) it’s hard to get there any other way and having someone in between your legs at the time can make it even harder

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I never orgasmed til I was about 30 years old. And it was amazong and during partner sex…I think my biggest issue is my mind and psyching myself out..

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i don’t want to feel difficult or feel like im applying pressure or expectations during sex, it needs to feel easy and flowy and fun, however in pursuit of making sex easy and fun i begin to put my own needs on the back burner

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A fear of ruining the mood, being difficult

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Fear of ruining the mood because it has in the past. And fear of being dismissed after making myself more vulnerable.

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did not know how to explainwhat I wanted or needed.

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I don’t know how to say what I want, it’s easier to pretend

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I don’t know how to explain what I like because I feel like it’s so different on my own vs with a partner

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I don’t want them to overthink it or for it to get monotonous, I also don’t want them to use it to manipulate me

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Also I’ve tried communicating and I feel like men just don’t listen

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I don’t know what I want. I’ve never orgasmed on my own either!

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Omg this is encouraging

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I think shame, and I don’t want my partner to think I don’t find them attractive

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